When I was very young I would live every day wanting to be older. It seemed like time would never move and the days lasted forever.
In my 20's I had children and time seemed to move only when I wasn't looking. The days would take forever but the years flew by and I waited for them to be grown. In their eyes I was God. I knew everything and I was the smartest person in the world.
When I was in my 30's time moved a little slower. I had 4 teens and every day was filled with crisis or drama. I got more sleep at night but somehow was never rested enough to get through the day. According to the kids I was 'out of touch' and wasn't as smart as they were. I went from 'the smartest person in the world' to 'mom' and I waited for them to be grown.
Now that I'm in my 40's I understand the rhythm of life a bit more. The days fly by as do the years but the moments have slowed down enough to be enjoyed. My kids are all grown and somehow I am smarter than I was a few years ago. I get calls daily asking for advice (or money) or assurance that things are going to turn out ok.
I spent most of my life wanting time to move faster and now I realize that I wanted or waited most of my life, instead of enjoying the moment. I'm just happy to take each day enjoying the moment instead of surviving the day. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older and more laid back or it's because of my empty nest. I suspect the latter :)
Someone made a comment to me recently that made me think deep thoughts. I don't have that driving need to please my kids any more. I don't have that driving need to have them be happy regardless of my own. I don't feel guilty at doing things without inviting them along. In fact, my guilt-able level has dropped down to almost nothing. The comment? "I think that in your 40's when your eggs start to rot you lose that urge to mother everything." Maybe so, but I can live with it :D
In my 20's I had children and time seemed to move only when I wasn't looking. The days would take forever but the years flew by and I waited for them to be grown. In their eyes I was God. I knew everything and I was the smartest person in the world.
When I was in my 30's time moved a little slower. I had 4 teens and every day was filled with crisis or drama. I got more sleep at night but somehow was never rested enough to get through the day. According to the kids I was 'out of touch' and wasn't as smart as they were. I went from 'the smartest person in the world' to 'mom' and I waited for them to be grown.
Now that I'm in my 40's I understand the rhythm of life a bit more. The days fly by as do the years but the moments have slowed down enough to be enjoyed. My kids are all grown and somehow I am smarter than I was a few years ago. I get calls daily asking for advice (or money) or assurance that things are going to turn out ok.
I spent most of my life wanting time to move faster and now I realize that I wanted or waited most of my life, instead of enjoying the moment. I'm just happy to take each day enjoying the moment instead of surviving the day. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older and more laid back or it's because of my empty nest. I suspect the latter :)
Someone made a comment to me recently that made me think deep thoughts. I don't have that driving need to please my kids any more. I don't have that driving need to have them be happy regardless of my own. I don't feel guilty at doing things without inviting them along. In fact, my guilt-able level has dropped down to almost nothing. The comment? "I think that in your 40's when your eggs start to rot you lose that urge to mother everything." Maybe so, but I can live with it :D
1 I think...:
This was beautiful. I really enjoyed and appreciated the sentimentality of it.
Yes, I've finally made it here! I was going to email you, but hopefully you'll get this. I wanted you to know how appreciative I have always been of you checking in on me and leaving comments along the way. I have spent the majority of this year in freak out and at times paralyzed to the point where I just couldn't even reply to those that were praying for me or my family. I'm here to tell you -- Thank You.
I have started going through comments and replying to many and I realized that I hadn't heard from you in a while. I thought I'd pop over here and tell you that I'd love the chance to get to know you more. I'm looking forward to do some late night lurking on your site as well and thanks for the link in your blogroll--I'll be sure to add you to mine! Pop in sometime and say hi.
Christina
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