Click on an interest, I have lots :)

as of today

  • Christmas shopping check
  • Christmas dinner supplies check
  • cards sent out check
  • baking done check
  • fkids shopped for their parents check
  • house cleaned check
  • presents wrapped check
  • stockings filled check
Now I'm off to put the turkey into the fridge to defrost :)
Fingers crossed that everything just stays on track and the kids on task and we'll survive til Saturday

NOW I'm done (for a bit)

The quilts are done and now the pillows are done and ready for wrapping. I was planning on using travel pillows but at 10 dollars a pillow I changed my mind. Instead I bought a 3.99 firm bed pillow and cut it in half. I just sewed the 2 halves closed and they were as good as new for much less money :) TA DA!

DONE!! (for now)

OMG, This was so much more involved than I had anticipated :) It will be quite a while before the grand girls get their's

Isn't he cute! This was at my b-day luncheon last January.

Since the boys are only a year apart they got matching but different colors. Once I give them I'll never see them again and especially since I put blood (needle incident) sweat (hard work cutting everything out) and tears (stupid broken machine half way thru got to me) into these I wanted pics of them. Matching travel pillow cases made cute little personal sets. 5'x3.5' total finished blanket :) They'll last for a few years...

1 down, 3 to go

I finished one of the gkid's quilt this weekend. 2 quilting needles, and then 2 spools of thread, and finally...2 sewing machines. grr. I loved mine but it died, in mid-stitch I might add!

I used printable fabric in my standard printer and made the blocks.

All about the baby :) Now to finish the other 3....

$$

This is a really good site for judging what different items using electricity cost you each month. It guesses what you will pay extra according to the national average for electricity costs so for an accurate reading you might want to call and find out what your area charges. Ours is 5.12 cents which is WAY below the average.We had to buy an oil filled heater for the end of the hall where the bedroom doors are. The floor was freezing and seemed to leak into the bedrooms at night. I turn the heat down at night and bank the wood stove but even so my bill is going to skyrocket with these cold winter temps. We had to add a heat lamp in the chicken coop and plug in the dog's water bucket as well (awesome gadget in the winter). All of these things add up. Now I'm off to figure out where I can save money on my cell plan, my home phone plan and my Internet :)

Just an FYI, I have qwest for home phone service. I was looking at the different plans available on-line and updated mine to a plan with more services at half my current price each month. What are you paying? :)

life goes on (without me)

Everything seems to be moving so fast outside of my house and in slo-mo inside. I'm behind on my Christmas shopping and already feeling the pinch. I go back and forth between what I want to get them and what they need. The kids are sick again but I am not, so I am thankful for that. We have a nice group of kids so I don't have to worry about a kid ruining the holidays like last year. I have all my groceries for Christmas dinner but go back and forth about when to start cooking the treats. I am planning on cooking up a storm this year with all my newfound skills and recipes :)

Grumpy may or may not be laid off or hours cut from day to day which is a little unsettling. I have a house full of people who depend on him (and me) for our creature comforts. If the stupid health bill passes we will be bringing home much less money each paycheck anyway so that is always in the back of my mind as I Christmas shop. Possibly 12 thousand less a year. Major ouch for the budget.

I have pared down as much as I feel comfortable with. We don't shop for my parents and they don't shop for us. My sisters and I have exchanged Christmas cards for years instead of gifts. We try to out-do each other in creativity. The baby sister usually wins at that one. We don't buy each others children anything. I send my grandmother a Safeway gift card because that's where she shops. Grumpy and I usually buy something for the house for ourselves. I buy the grandkids a little something and this year I'm making them each a personalized quilt. I'll take pics when I have 1 done. My adult kids need cash more than anything else so that's what they are getting and the littles are getting clothes, art stuff, personal items and 1 cool gift. Even though I am trying to spend less just the sheer numbers are disheartening. 5 littles, 4 grown kids + spouses and still the day to day expenses. ugh. And that's making sure I don't do the obligatory gifts. I sent a lot of Christmas cards instead :)

Grumpy, on the other hand has a different story. His family is getting together Christmas eve and they still do the shopping for everyone thing. His mom, 2 sibs and spouses, 6 nieces and nephews and their children. No thanks :) I'm out of it this year :D I'll stay at home and do all the wrapping that I should be doing now instead of playing on the computer.

Every year I say this. I will start shopping in March. Every year I start at Thanksgiving instead. Oh well, at least I'm consistent. Happy Holidays :)

for the love of family

This is us. I just thought I would post a pic of us in case I change my mind...kill him and go to prison.

I have been pouring over blogs and cook books and the net to find easy to do recipes that my family will love. As part of my growing I am trying to be a better cook. I still can't make a pie crust worth shit but the kids are loving the mistakes. I have just about decided that I will remake any pie recipe into a bar recipe. I make a GREAT bar cookie crust :) but since it's thanksgiving I'm going to cheat with the refrigerated rolled pie crusts because I'm making a chocolate, apple, pumpkin and banana pie. I have a 24 pound turkey that took forever to find because the only bird I cook is a Norbest. I have had fantastic luck every year for over 20 with this bird. I have my russet and yukon gold potatoes for mashing, a fantastic mandarin orange creamed salad. We frosted sugar cookies. I have my home-canned green beans for green beans, cream of mushroom, onion pearls and bacon pieces. My home-canned carrots for glazed carrots, stuff for stuffing, a ton of vegies for a vegie and dip tray. I have finally found the perfect bread machine dough recipe for dinner rolls, cranberries, chips, pop, and more. I did my shopping early so I could have the pick of the crop.

Do you want to know what he did?! He came home on Tuesday with great news!! He was over at his uncle Tom's and they invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner AND HE SAID YES!! I must have looked a little stunned because he says to me, "but honey, now you don't have to cook." He gave away my holiday! And he thought it was a GOOD thing! I have everything. I have been practicing my desserts and have suffered through outrageous sugar highs gone bad to perfect them. I have made about 20 different dinner roll recipes trying to find the "one". I bought table decorations. I was ready. I was prepared. And now..what? I'm ahead of the game for Christmas?

I love his Uncle as strongly as I despise his mother and his wife is incredible. I love spending time with them and I know they're getting older. Grumpy shared that Auntie had a biopsy yesterday and none of her kids are to know. They have 7 kids but I think that only 1 family can make it up. I realize that we are family and that they want to spend the holidays with family (and share their Safeway turkey dinner special), but we coulda did something else! Arranged for them to come here or maybe went up and had dessert with them or whatever, I don't know.

I waited for the information to process once I realized that he was serious. I was calm. I told him that you never NEVER give away a womans holiday. EVER. We are going. I'm taking a relish tray, mashed potatoes and some sugar cookies. Not quite what I had planned but it is for family. If I don't get a doggie bag of turkey left-overs though...all bets are off. He's a dead man.

ehh :/

well, off the wagon. Now I have to climb back on and try try again.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

Those who have smoked regularly for a few weeks or longer(or 30 years), and suddenly stop using tobacco or greatly reduce the amount smoked, will have withdrawal symptoms. Symptoms usually start within a few hours of the last cigarette and peak about 2 to 3 days later when most of the nicotine and its by-products are out of the body. Withdrawal symptoms can last for a few days to up to several weeks. They will get better every day that you stay smoke-free.

Withdrawal symptoms can include any of the following:

  • dizziness (which may only last 1 to 2 days after quitting)
  • depression
  • feelings of frustration, impatience, and anger
  • anxiety
  • irritability
  • sleep disturbances, including having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, and having bad dreams or even nightmares
  • trouble concentrating
  • restlessness or boredom
  • headaches
  • tiredness
  • increased appetite
  • weight gain
  • constipation and gas
  • cough, dry mouth, sore throat, and nasal drip
  • chest tightness
These symptoms can lead the smoker to start smoking cigarettes again to boost blood levels of nicotine back to a level where there are no symptoms.

At least I know why I feel like crap. By Monday I should be back on track and not wish to kill people who bother me with stupid phone calls....

still on track...

My focus is gone, my joints ache, I have a headache and I'm really bitchy and it's only been a day and a half. My chest is tight and it's hard to breath. My heart is pounding. The worst is yet to come. Days 3 and 4 are prime drug withdrawal for me. My mind starts playing games at that point. It's absolutely unreal what 30 years of smoking can do to a persons body. Why the hell is something that has no redeeming value and only causes ill, legal?
I'm so impatient! I can't wait to detox and be a nonsmoker! I cleaned my windshield today. On the inside? If you smoke you know what I mean. I tossed all my outside ashtrays and my son has quit with me. He is a social smoker and having an easier time. I'm completely buggin like a junkie. At least he has a clear view of what not quitting looks like down the road.

third times the charm

Join the Great American <span class=Smokeout - 19 November 2009 - Quit tobacco. Make every one proud. ucanquit2.org" border="0">

It's going to be a looongg day :)

* I'm going to bed now. It was a very long day but I made it and didn't come too close to murder and mayhem. I have not had a cigarette all day. I really want to be a nonsmoker.

family ties

I don't like my mother in law. Or my sister in law.

In fact, after 25 years, the only people that I even speak to are my b-i-l who is great and a nephew in law. They are terrible people who put me through hell when I was younger. They are so slimily sweet that you feel like you need a shower after the dinners. You know that show 'Everyone love Raymond'? She is Marie on a good day. It gets worse. They play head games that slam you, but you don't realize that you've been slammed until a few minutes later. I say they because grumpy's older sister was a clone of her mother.

I waited for grumpy to put a stop to it, I couldn't, I had been programmed since birth to never correct your elders. I would just go home and rant and rave to my sisters. He would look at me dumbfounded. He had been raised in that house and never heard or saw a thing. It was always, 'but my mom tries so hard.' Sure she does. About 20 years ago I was so proud that I was going to make the Thanksgiving pies for dinner. I spent 2 days trying to make the perfect apple, cherry, and chocolate pies. I carry them into her house and she takes one from me and examines it, pauses, looks at her daughter and says "MY, I'm just going to have to take time off of work next year to make pies. Well...thank you for these pies and smiles at me. Grumpy would only hear the thank you, not the slam. Drove me so crazy that I would only go at the holidays. That got so bad that I would only go once a year. Probably why I can't make pies to this day. :) I was so young that I thought it was me. It never occurred to me that it was them, that they just sucked as in-laws.

A typical Christmas. I would do the shopping for m-i-l. We would open presents. She would gush over the wonderful present that grumpy got her, because he knows her so well. Then we would open gifts. sis-i-l got a t-fall pan set. b-i-l got a craftsmen tool set. grumpy got a pair of 501s , a really nice embroidered elk on a sweatshirt and a movie. I got 2 tea towels that didn't match. Seriously? It wasn't that I was upset about what I got, I was upset at the insult that I was expected to take, say thank you and smile while doing so. It was always like that, but it simply got too much. I told grumpy that I was done. He and the kids could continue to go but I didn't like his mom and life was too short to be treated like crap when I had the choice to not be treated like crap and that his family sucks.

Lets see, hmm, memories. Like the one at 23 where m-i-l told me I had done something wrong when I miscarried the twins at 3 months. Or sis-i-l telling me I was a selfish bitch and she was sick of it when I bailed on her baby shower a week later. How about the one where they told my husband that our daughter wasn't his, that I had an affair and he should leave me. Thank god the guy they came up with had moved out of state 2 months before I got pregnant and she's the spittin image of his family. When he confronted them with these facts they said they were just trying to help him be happy. Or where they called me by his ex girlfriends name for years, yeah. Good times...god his family sucks!

He tried one year to not go to my moms if I wouldn't go to his. :D Silly boy. I loaded up the kids and off we went to have fun. He showed up an hour later. At least my family is the, 'in your face, I don't like you but you're family so there isn't a damn thing I can do about it if you call in an emergency so we might as well get along', type. His family sucks.

I went to Thanksgiving last year. First time in about 5 years. I was...not there? It's hard to explain. I was there but his family seemed not to see me. Even the younger generation. I stayed about 30 minutes and then told grumpy that I was going home. I said that I could go shopping and be ignored by total strangers and have a better time. He called me about 20 minutes later to tell me that I was wrong. He said several of his family members came up to him to ask where I was and when he told them I had left, they had told him that was too bad, they had wanted to say hi. huh. Really? I told him that they had plenty of time to say hi when they were right in front of me and that I was just fine, thanks anyway. I realized that it was a group effort to ignore me if they noticed that I was gone so quickly. I actually felt validated :) cause his family sucks.

My cousin is the one who put it in perspective for me. I was complaining about some new atrocity they had pulled and she said the most amazing thing to me. "Why go? They are a divorce from nothing to you, so why bother with it at all?" She was SO right! They are not my relatives. I am not related to any of them! That was such an awesome thing to realize. My kids on the other hand...I never said a word to them about what was going on. They continued to go and I would get them ready and send them out the door with a smile. I needed to stay home to...whatever excuse fit at the time. They didn't need to know that his family sucked.

As the years went by one by one quit going. Now the only one that goes with grumpy at all is my son. A couple years ago I asked the kids why they quit going and they said they were treated the same way. Little slams accompanying the smiles, head games, and the feeling when you walked into a room that they were just talking about you. Then my son pops up with, 'and mom, why did you always take their crap? Why didn't you tell them to just get bent?' I didn't realize they had seen what was going on. They said it was so obvious, how could they not? They couldn't understand why I wouldn't snipe back or make a scene, like I would at my family's dinners. damn. I tried to explain that it wasn't my family, it was their dad's so it wasn't my place. They weren't impressed. Maybe because it is their family? They can say what they want? I don't know, I just know his family sucks :)

There is a point to all this saga. I am fairly new to facebook. I only have people who I feel close to as my friends. I have a second one that has all my applications for gamers and people I don't know. About a week or two ago my sis-i-l sent me a friend request. Seriously. A friend request. On my family page. I hit ignore and went along my day without a second thought. She is not my friend and I don't care what goes on in her life and grumpy doesn't share what goes on in his. He despises his sister and always has, but he manages to keep the peace for his mom. I was 7 months pregnant with my last before he told them we were expecting. He kinda had to since we were standing face to face at Target. We had owned our house for almost 2 years before he told them. He kinda had to since his mom was trying to get him into the rental next door to her (without me). We lived 3 miles away but it might as well have been 300 for all he shared with them. (that always let me know that he was more aware than he admitted to me that his family sucks)

This morning I got a note on my facebook from sis-i-l's son. Poor kid. " I was wanting to ask u something. would it be ok if you can add my mom to your friends cause she told me that she sent you a friend request and somehow it got deleted so I wonder if you could add her. thanks. " Poor kid. He talks to me like once every 5 years and his mom put him up to embarrassing himself. The answer is no. No, it's none of her business what I talk about. It's none of her business what we do. Now how do I do it without causing problems for the poor clueless kid? geez his family sucks.

the change

Not quite menopausal, maybe baby? Well, a babish 11 year old...maybe.

the ramblings of a restless mind

My husband is a simplistic man.
Not the same as a simple man, because he's not.
He's a deep man, but has a simplistic view of his life. He doesn't think about politics, although he'll listen to me rant and rave about whatever indignity I feel the latest idiot is doing to our country with a slight smile on his face. He doesn't really offer opinions because he feels that there's no point. I think he feels that politicians are just putting on plays for us and behind closed doors they do as they please. Other than that, he has no opinion.

The things that are important to him are having dinner on the table after work. That the kids are not screaming and running the house. That the bills are paid and that he has a job to go to each day. That all is well in his world. If the leaves are on the grass, he rakes it. If the lawn needs mowing, he mows it. If a vehicle needs repairing, he fixes it. This is the bigger picture in his life and he's content with that. If I feel the need to get chickens, he builds me a chicken coop. If I have the need to learn how to can, he buys me jars from the swap meets he attends. If I feel the need to put up my own food, he tills me a garden and makes sure it doesn't die. All with the slight smile on his face. I know is condescension, but it gets me to where I want to be for us.

Everything else is just not that important.

I am the opposite. I worry about shortages so I try to buy in bulk. I worry about war so I stock up for our defense (although this was the one area that he enjoyed being involved in). I worry about emergencys so I try to prepare for everything. I worry about the decline of our personal freedoms and yell at the tv and write letters to my politicians that do not make me feel any better. Because I'm a visible foster parent (and mentor) I don't advertise my personal views. I don't have bumper stickers on my car. I don't talk politics in public. I am neutral out in the community. I am neutral because I am a minority with a public 24/7 job.

It wouldn't be prudent for me to carry a '1 man/1 woman = marriage' bumper sticker if my childs' parents are gay, or a 'save the budget/kick out an illegal' when I know my childs' parents are illegals. We have been raised to believe that everything must be pc. Blind is not called blind, it's visually impaired. What's in a word? Aren't they still blind?! To disagree out loud with one's sex choices is a hate crime. To expect personal responsibility for an addiction is washed away with the label 'disease'. To say that all men must be treated equally, as long as there are no winners is to lack any understanding of what equality means.

When Obama was voted in I would snicker at those who had 'it's time for a change' bumper stickers. I felt that once they realized that they had voted in the end of our great nation that they would be horrified and repent and rise to end the mistake. That was my mistake. I was naive. I honestly had no idea that there were so many people in our country that believed that to 'give' was expected if you had more and to receive was a given right. That the haves who worked so hard for what they wanted were now expected and ordered through laws to provide for those too lazy to provide for themselves. That the masses had to care more for providing food for a young child than it's parents. That a responsible person was a meal ticket, to be taken down to a spot as to be needy. That the individual was less important than the group. That to be a conservative and a patriot was something to be ashamed of.

We've been here before. We've tried communism several times in America and it fails. It fails because you can't kill everyone with an opinion. You can't kill everyone with an idea. You can't kill everyone with intelligence. You simply can't kill off every individual. God knows, China has been trying that for decades. We've been here before and we'll be here again, it's just a matter of time before we swing the other way again...I hope. Because that's what I want for my grandchildren. The freedom to strive to be better than the masses.

tools of the trade

When we go out Friday nights it's to a local auction house. Fun cheap entertainment :) McClains auctions are a local family that auctions off estates or things that people no longer want at an old barn that's been modified. They have an old 50 gallon drum that was modified into a wood stove to heat the place and great prices at their concession stand. It's the only place I've ever been to that you can still buy 20 licorice sticks for a dollar. The prices are great if you go at the end of the month and reasonable if you hit them at the beginning. I've gotten a few pieces there and Grumpy gets quite a bit of hunting and fishing supplies for a decent price. 2 weeks ago I saw a 3 piece wall unit from the 60's? Maybe early 70's. Each piece was 7 feet tall and 2 and 1/2 wide. Dusty, dirty and smelly...I loved them! and Grumpy hated them just as much! He was thinking that he would have to carry each. solid. wood. heavy. piece. twice. He was right :) Once to the truck and once into the house :D

I saw them and knew right where I wanted them. My bedroom. My unstylish 18x20 giant sized closet and storage room. I set a budget amount and started bidding. Unfortunately another woman had a similar idea and wouldn't keep her damn paddle down, but I was on a mission. I finally outbid her at 110 dollars :) Yep, they were mine!

They replaced 2 bulky dressers that never held all my clothes (on the few times that all the laundry was done) and allowed me to empty 5 totes buried at the bottom of my closet as well. For the first time since my first child I have a bedroom with a little style that's well organized. It actually LOOKS like a place to get some rest instead of a reminder of all things unfinished.

The really nice thing about getting rid of the totes is that I have easier access to my hobbys. These are some of my great great grandma's (and her mothers) photo albums that I'm in the process of documenting. Since I don't have to empty my closet every time I have some free time it should go much quicker. They now have their own spot in my wall unit. I swear this unit is like magic. I keep filling it up and later there's more room in it! Try THAT with a dresser.

I just wanted to share this picture. It's of my great grandmother taken in 1900. Isn't it amazing that something over a hundred years ago still looks this good? I can't wait to finish documenting and getting it all into a book to share with family, but that's another blog :)

Rainy day fun

The grandkids :) Happy Thanksgiving!









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just saying

I have a busy life. Not the single mom, work full time, never have enough time to do the laundry type busy..although I don't, have time for the laundry I mean. I'll get to it as soon as I run out of underwear. I'm the run the kids to their appointments (all day), home and safety inspections (3 a month), cook, clean, and all the rest of the standard stay at home mom stuff. How I try to stay on top of everything is by putting everything that doesn't have a home in my bedroom. Anyone else do that? You have 30 minutes (or 5) to do a quick pick up of the place before company gets there. Maybe grab the half-folded laundry and toss it on the bed, declutter table tops into a grocery bag and set it over in the corner of your room and say you'll sort it later? Maybe a shopping day and don't have time to put it away? Just set it in your room for later. Only after a while your room looks like a cross between a closet and a garage (grumpy is famous for this too. I have more fishing stuff lying around my bedroom than he has out in the garage).
So, in my cold medicine delirium I went on a bedroom purge. On a side note I believe I know why they use Advil cold and sinus to make meth. Otherwise I have absolutely no idea where my energy came from. note to self..don't give Advil cold and sinus to the kids if they're going to be home all day. I did a deep clean that looks as good as the day I unpacked. I dusted, vacuumed, polished the hardwood floors and furniture, hunted and killed many large dust bunnies, and purged. Mostly purged. I got rid of 50% of the stuff that I haven't used this year. I emptied the closets and only put back what I wore every year. I ferbreezed the crap out of the mattress and pillows and throw rug. I opened the windows wide (43 degrees out) and put on all fresh bedding. I didn't put stuff back...I didn't move things from one room to another...I didn't leave anything around that was leaving in the house. It left. My bedroom looks incredible and it only took most of the day.
Unfortunately my darling grandchild entertained herself while I did this. While I toiled all day making calm out of chaos she managed to trash her room, the living room, the dining room and the kitchen without making a sound. How do 5 year olds DO that? Oh well, more projects for another day. In fact my goal is to purge 1 room each day this week. I have too much stuff if I have enough to lay around needing to be picked up. Goodwill is going to love me on Friday :)
Now I am off to the shower, put on my clean pj's and enjoy my sparkling bedroom while it IS sparkling :)

a moment of nothing

I was depressed so I went net cruising and found this. It's kind of a cute little quiz.
This is mine..

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Honest

Like it or not, your friends are going to hear the truth from you.
You know that the truth hurts, but living a life of lies is much worse.

So while you're definitely kind and supportive, you don't pull any punches with your friends.
Everyone knows where they stand with you. And what you like and dislike about them.

While some may be initially turned off by your honesty, your friends have come to consider it a virtue.
After all, in world of white lies and deceptive politeness, you can be counted on for honesty and integrity.

Your friends need you most when: They need good advice or an intelligent opinion

You really can't be friends with: Needy, emotional people

Your friendship quote: "True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."

I think it's trying to be really kind, but still say I'm a bitch. Oh, well. :D I probably am.

happy holidays

I love Halloween. You get to dress up and carve pumpkins and go ask random strangers for candy. If you're lucky enough you can also host a Halloween party. We had a party last year for Foster youth and it was a blast. Did you know if you put highlighter in a mason jar with water, the chicken legs you ate last night and a handful of white rice and then put a black light behind it...it is really gross? The awesome things you can come up with to gross people out. Half the girls wouldn't even use the bathroom. We took a dollar store shower curtain, put some slashes and red hand prints on it, changed the light bulb to a red bulb and hid a cd player behind the toilet. You would sit down to pee, your ears would adjust to the quiet, and then you would hear footsteps coming up behind you! More than one girl ran out the door to fasten their pants. Too funny!
So, holidays are here and it was time to take out my several bins of costumes out. The girls picked out what they wanted to be but I noticed that I had a totes worth that was too small or was for boys. For years I had gone to Kmart the week after Halloween and bought costumes for 90% off. When you only have to pay 2 dollars for a 4 piece costume it's easy to get carried away. When I started sorting them I realized that I had about 2 dozen costumes that I needed to give away, half still had tags on them. I didn't want to give them to goodwill. They would charge more than what I paid for them. I didn't want to list them on Craigslist...half the time people don't show and fielding calls is a pain. I called our local family homeless shelter. I mean, even homeless kids want to celebrate the holidays! It's FREE CANDY!! And they were awesome costumes.
The guy said to bring them down, he'd love to have them. I load them up in a tote and headed down. I had to walk around the corner to the front carrying my tote and almost tripped over a young woman sitting on the sidewalk. She had all of her belongings loose in a half circle around her about 4 feet deep. She looked at my tote and said, 'looks like we're in the same boat'. NO, we're NOT! Your boat sucks! I just smiled at her. I have to say that I was embarrassed to walk back by her on my way out. The place was dirty and the people have to leave each day and come back that night. I have a good life. I help people at random times when they need a hand up. I understand that life gets hard. I understand that bad things happen to good people. What I don't understand is how a physically fit young woman (20's) ends up on a sidewalk with all of her stuff rolling around her. We have so many help wanted signs around here. Is flipping burgers worse than sitting on a sidewalk? Are there no horny guys at the bar? (sounds rude, yes, but she was young and cute. Someone should've wanted to take her in.) Did her family refuse to have anything to do with her? All I could think of was, but for the grace of God... and that totally took away my happy thought of doing a good deed for a child. Happy freakin holidays.

The BOX

There is a new movie coming out called 'The Box'. It's a remake of a Twilight Zone or Tales from the  Dark side or something. Guy shows up at your door and offers you a chance at a million dollars. You just have to push a little red button and you get a million dollars. The downside is that someone you don't know will die. After much soul searching you push the button. Moments later the man shows up, gives you a million dollars and takes the box back. The downside is that the next person he gives the box to may push the button too. You are the unknown person who may die. Very twilightish, but it was a good 12 minute clip.
Did you see this one? You're sick and you go to the hospital. They are at capacity but you are young  and healthy. You just have the flu.  You have no other health problems. They  remove a respirator from an older patient and TA DA, empty bed for you. And you didn't even know who that person was. The family  wasn't  told, 'Sorry, we need the bed and  your relative needs too much medical care, so take'em home. We're done.'  They are just told, 'I'm sorry, we did all the we can' and off you go. Sounds very Twilightish doesn't it :) You show up at the hospital not feeling very well and your Dr decides to admit you, but it will take about an hour for a bed to 'become' available.
According to this, Hollywood meets reality. If you have cancer or multiple sclerosis, or maybe you are older than 62, and you go to the hospital you can be turned away... by armed guards if need be. If you are in a nursing home and need medical care you can be refused medical care. If you are admitted and not doing as well as they would like they can take your resperator and give it to someone else. What happened to "First do no harm"? Are they going to change the hippcratic oath? How about.. "Don't try to save everyone, just the easy ones". Attitude reflects leadership Captain. (I love that movie :D) Health care leaders have already been given the Wink by our Leader. We just won't call them death panals.

quiet before the storm


I love it when I have a few minutes in the evening to escape to the backyard. And I never leave the house without my camera :)

stormy saturday

Another storm moving in today.
I should...
  • clean the basement
  • organize my canning room
  • finish laundry
  • finish my grocery inventory
  • clean my bathroom
  • pull out the Halloween stuff
  • take out something for dinner
What I'm going to do is take another dose of cold meds, take a bath, and go back to bed *cough cough achooo!*

Typical Fall storm, Atypical flu season

Every year around this time a storm comes roaring in. Today is that day. High winds and lots of rain. All the leaves that yesterday were on the tree.

Soon the drive will be a river with the rain rushing down the hill. Probable power outages, so I am off to make a stew for dinner in my trusty woodstove safe bean pot and then I am crawling into bed. I HAVE THE FLU! I am absolutely miserable. My head, my chest, my throat, every muscle and joint in my body. God I hope nobody else gets it before I recover.

(cover your eyes)

I did a really strange thing. It was the baby's birthday so I took her to Ross for a b-day outfit. We got separated. That HAS to be the reason.
I wear 501's, mens xtra large tshirts and my white rebocks. If it's cold out I will wear a thermal Henley. That's it. In the summer I will cut off the legs of a really worn pair of jeans and buy a new pair in the fall. That has been my uniform for 2 decades. To put it nicely, it's frumpy.
So, as I was saying I was in the teen department looking for clothes for the baby and saw an outfit very similar to the one that I was wearing when I met grumpy. It was a little snug (yes, I snuck into the dressing room) but it fit. I realized that I was buying clothes for Dd3 that I would have KILLED for back when I was her age. So, I went on a bit of a makeover for myself. Grumpy and I were planning on going out for dinner with my folks that evening since the baby had plans, so me and the baby did some dressing up. I blocked my face in case anyone I know ever reads this :)

(pic may or may not be here depending on mood)

[Dd3 and I completed the family birthday tradition of holding up how many fingers the birthday child is. It makes it that much easier to look back and know what birthday it was.]

Grumpy loved the outfit :D
So did the guys at the casino where we had dinner. 1 thought I was a hooker (High class callgirl, I hope :D) and kept trying to flash money at me and 2 babies tried to pick me up. (A baby is anyone younger than my eldest...eww!) I did actually wear it in public (far far from where anyone knows me) but that outfit is now put back to rest. I have been a mom for 27 years and am a grandmother to 4. During the last quarter of a century I have put on about 35 pounds. Not all at once mind you, just a couple permanent pounds on those special birthdays. I might not be quite ready for the whole lavender hair thing but I am WAAY to old for mini's and heels. The heels were incredible though. They were so awesome that I bought a more sedate dress to wear with them to my sister's house for a family gathering.
While I am completing my metamorphoses from MOM to ME, I am going to try to develop a little more style. I kinda lost that between the lactating milk stains and the spilled milk at dinner. As I experiment, rest assured, the mini thing is so over :)

FALLed

We got FALLed last night. Our first official freeze at 32 degrees. See all the crystals on the leaf?

I knew it was coming but still...are you ever really ready? Summer is gone and the colors that make up that season will be gone too.

My last rose to bloom. The other buds will die off. The pool is cleaned and covered. Grumpy re caulked the south east windows because that seems to be out hardest hit when it storms. The last of the produce is out of the garden. Now it just needs to be plowed. (hehehe..men's work around here) I need to go get some red lights for the chicken coop later today, but first I must attend a family function. Notice how formal that sounded? :) Command performance by the mom. She's flying the coop next week for 6 months and wants all of her children and grandchildren for a gathering.
I've spoke about my extended family relations. We socialize together a lot, but it's always a little uncomfortable. Some of it is probably (most certainly) mis communication. Perfect case in point. We have planned an early holiday get together because my folks are snowbirds. Me and my sibs are to bring 2 appetizers and a dessert. Next generation brings 1 appetizer, etc. That way there are no dishes to be washed, and it won't take 5 hours in the kitchen while the men and kids are wondering around the house or playing cards like Thanksgiving was last year. I don't have little kids under foot and it's respite weekend so I really wanted to have a little fun trying out a couple new recipes. I was thinking about stuffed cherry tomatoes from the garden, spinach dip in a bread bowl w/bread from my bread machine and a cake. I wanted to make a strawberry cake shaped like a giant bonbon, stuffed with cheesecake and frosted with whipped cream. I made it for a birthday once when I needed a last minute cake and it's all I had in the cupboards. VERY big hit. ANYWAY, I wanted to play a bit with my contributions. My sister (the baby) called me from the checkout line yesterday. She tells me that she forgot to pick up the shrimp so to please bring some and nobody signed up for vegies so pick up a tray and I don't need to bring dessert because she picked up a large pumpkin pie, but if I really wanted to I could pick up something on my way down. hmm. WHAT THE HELL!! I took insult. I felt very insulted. Number 1, she's the baby...not the eldest, I am ( Hierarchy, even in adult hood :D). Number 2, I have a very clean kitchen...we save the 'buy your stuff at the store' routine for the middle sister. Her kitchen
is still stacked with food and dishes from dinner last week. I call my mom to bitch a little. I tell her beforehand, 'I am just venting. Do not try to fix this. Do not try to problem-solve. I just want to vent.' She agrees to just listen. Afterwards she tells me that she just wants to offer an observation. The Baby doesn't cook. The Baby doesn't bake. She picks up things from the store and re-presents them. Yes, she was being a little bossy, but it would never occur to her that I was actually making things from scratch. The Baby thinks of vegies and it means buying a ready made tray. I think of vegies and it means an hour of cutting and making a dip. I think of dessert as to what I have in my cupboards, she picks up something. She was not insulting my abilities, just being self centered. I am still irritated BUT I'm willing to let it go. I'm going to write it off as she's a dink (double income no kids). She doesn't know any better. She thinks I have gotten weird this last year. I think that I am emerging from my motherhood cocoon and evolving to the person I would have been if our situations would have been reversed. You would have thought that after being sibs for 38 years we would speak the same language. We used to.

Ds

This is my son. Ds. My only son that grew up with a mother to whom all her kids refer to her as the queen of instant.

My son who can walk into the kitchen, pull out a few items and make incredible dinners. He's the one that taught me how to make chicken fettuccine alfredo using cheeses I had never heard of. Here he's making pepper and beef stir fry. I love the fact that he makes dinner. I even love the fact that he makes a great dinner. I really hate the fact that somehow he is a natural born cook. He did NOT get those genes from me (brat)

free health care?

just playing with the health care numbers. Indian health care is federal health care so I used them as a start.
The 09 budget for 1.9 million patients was 3.58 billion dollars. They figure that they were only issued 52 % of what was actually needed. That would put the needed 09 budget at 7.16 billion dollars for 1.9 million people. My really crappy math skills says it was roughly about 1.84 million per person last year for federal health care according the recorded budget for Indian affairs.

According to Kaiser, a family of four headed by a 45-year-old making $63,000 a year is in the middle of the middle class. But that family would pay $7,110 to buy its own health insurance under the plan from the committee chairman.

The family would get a tax credit of $3,970 to help pay for a policy worth $11,080. But the balance due — $7,110 — is real money. Without some serious changes that would add over 1.83 million the the deficit per person per year. damn.

Kaiser's calculator doesn't take into account co-payments, prescriptions, and deductibles that could add hundreds of dollars, even several thousand, to a family's total medical expenses. A Congressional Budget Office analysis estimates total expenses could average 20 percent of income for some families by 2016.

I'm already on a tight budget. My local power company just voted to raise our rates 6%. My phone went up. My groceries are up. Obama wants to raise my power bill 1000% next year for green power. Everything is going up except Grumpy's paycheck. I can't afford to be sick...but I can't afford free medical care even more.


emergency plans

For those of you feeling a little under the weather...or maybe just a little under-whelmed with life? This woman has got the cure for you. Just take notes and if you can't do it tomorrow, at least you will have a ready-made blue print for emergencies. :)

before the chaos starts

I was outside this morning drinking my coffee and enjoying the peace and quiet that happens when your internal clock wakes you at 6am every single morning for no damn good reason and you are once again facing a long day of canning.

The view from my back porch was awesome with the fall fog coming in. The weather is changing to my favorite time of year. The hot sun is finally gone, the holidays are coming fast, I get to have a fire all day, it rains and the wind blows like crazy...what's not to love?

I was playing with my view finder taking pics of random things in the back yard before everything dies again for the year.

Evidently I woke the cat up earlier than she wanted :D pissy pissy kitty! Have a great day everyone!!

soaps and bonbons all day

I am a stay-at-home-mom
Today;

  1. 6:00 Grumpy to work, sure in his belief that I secretly watch soaps all day
  2. 6:30 j-16 in the shower
  3. 7:00 m-14 and c-16 up for school
  4. 7:20 m-14 and c-16 out the door
  5. 7:30 c-11 and gkid-5 up for school
  6. 8:00 c-11 and gkid-5 out the door
  7. 8:15 feed r-5 and shower (me)
  8. 8:45 pick up c-11 from school and her gma for a team meeting
  9. 9:00 team placement meeting at the office until 10:00
  10. 9:45 pick up m-14 for counseling
  11. 10:45 drop off m-14 and pick up c-16 for ortho appt
  12. 11:30 drop off c-16 at school, pick up some groceries and prescriptions
  13. 12:00 feed r-5 and can the 6 chickens that cooked down all night, call and set appts
  14. 2:30 c-16 has an I.E.P meeting after school
  15. 3:00 m-14 home from school about 10 min before me, snacks, school work
  16. 3:50 c-11 and gkid-5 home from school
  17. 4:00 m-14 and r-5 1 hour visit at office w/mom
  18. 4:00 c-11 appt with worker at future adoption home :)
  19. 5:00 home to start dinner, say hi to Grumpy, finish homework, laundry, feed the animals, clean kitchen, run 6 kids through the shower, start canning the apples for apple pie filling, sign school papers, send teachers e-mails, return missed calls
  20. 8:00 kids to their room, start tomatoes to cook down for the night
  21. 9:00 lights out and off for the night until tomorrow morning when we do it all again :)

and life continues

Mom came through with no problems and her pacemaker was tweaked to be more efficient. Already she has more energy. Fenfen really did a number on her last 10 years.
Dd1 is getting B-12 shots every week for a couple months. Already her mood has improved. Might explain her unreasonableness for the last year. It would be nice to have my daughter back.
Dd2 is making an appointment with her cardiologist to see what's going on with her heart rhythm, they may have to make her defibrillator more of a pacemaker to control her rhythm. Either way at least we'll know.
Dd3 is back home with all her energy and noise. We'll adjust. Eventually.
The canning became my escape. I learned how to do a new thing and zoned. It was actually relaxing. And now to a new day and new fun :)
Have you ever noticed we spend the most time stressing over the things that we know will turn out ok in the end? Go figure.
ps- I counted...it took Dd3 3.5 hours to stand in front of the opened fridge and complain that I had no food. How could she see anything when the fridge was full?!

ugh

I'm over-whelmed by all the canning that needs to be done. Mom is having her heart stopped right now 2 hours away so that they can restart it for a better rhythm. It should restart. It will restart. I'm not there, my sisters are because I have too damn many kids to get to school who can't be left with just anybody. My incredibly awesome backup person is out of town this week. so here I am. Dd1 was diagnosed with such a low B-12 last week that she may have spinal damage, Dd2 found out her husband cheated on her and isn't sure what to do because she feels her heart is weakening...why do all the work of leaving if she doesn't have much time? Dd3 is on her way home right this minute with her bouncy little bugbug. She is moving back home. yea. My dog eviscerated my first chickie and I was such a baby I made my son put her out of her pain. There is so much work that needs to be done to prep for winter...pool shut down, garden tilled, lawns mowed, gutters cleaned, lawn furniture put away...I am already exhausted and I haven't even started. Damn. Another boomer rang child under feet. That brings my home total to 1 Grumpy, 5 f-kids, 2 (maybe 3) boomer rang kids, 1 gkid, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 13 chickens. I like the chickens. At least they go out and find food when they're hungry...not stand in front of the open fridge complaining that 'you never have any food in this house'. That means I don't have instant junk food. My response is supposed to be, aww honey, let me cook for you! ugh. I thought I had outgrown the whole mama/kid thing!
God I'm whiny today.

christmas in 96 days

I have started a couple things off my bucket list.

Our local fabric shop had a labor day special so I bought the material for the grandson's quilts for Christmas. Monkeys for gkid-2 and trucks for gkid-1

They had a special half price for the picture transfers so I was able to pick up 2 packages for the price of one. I hope this brand washes well because the last brand faded. Now I have to hunt for the pictures I want to personalize them and start. :)

The other item I want to work on is being a better cook. That's a hard one because I don't like fussy foods or have the time to make 2 hour dinners. I decided that my best bet would be to follow the recipes for Pennsylvania-Dutch cooking. Most of the meals are very similar to what I grew up on and I follow the recipes just fine, plus it's most of the foods I have on hand or canned anyway. I have 2 sites so far and will be buying an actual cookbook. I don't have many...maybe 3, but I write in my cookbooks. I cross out recipes that I tried and didn't like or if I add or ignore ingredients. The sites I'm starting on are Teri's Kitchen or berksWebs . Hopefully I will find new menus for dinner that we all like :D

random bits of funny

I found this on my g-kids myspace and thought it funny. You can't tell me you don't identify with at least a third :D


1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.



2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.



3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.



4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?



5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk



6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.



9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.



10.. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.



11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.



12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.



16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.



17. Was learning cursive really necessary?



18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".



19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.



22. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".



23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?



24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!



25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.



26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.



29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



30.. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



31.. Bad decisions make good stories



32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!



33. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.



34. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....



35. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.



36. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.



37. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



38. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



39. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.



40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'



41. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.



42. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?



43. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



44. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.



45. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.



46. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...



47. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



48. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



49. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.



50. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



51. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.



52. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.



53.. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...



54. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?



55. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.



56. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.



57. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



58. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.



59. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

rude much?

I'm a really bad person who should never be allowed out in public on cold meds again. I hope it was the cold meds. I would be really sad to think that I am just a bad person. I went to gkid-5's school today for 'Invite you grandparents to lunch' day. Other g-ma didn't want to drive 80 miles round trip for a 10 minute lunch and I didn't blame her so I said I would go and take lots of pics. I really am very bitchy when I'm sick. I meet up with the baby and we get into line to get our lovely school lunch. A little (not very) girl in line with her g-ma right behind us pulls on my jacket and says, 'gkid-5 is mean to me.' I look at her and then look at grandma (who was looking at me expectantly) and tell the little girl, 'life happens' and turn back around. What a weird thing to say to a little girl. I have no idea what I was thinking except so what. So what if my kid won't play with your kid. If there's no blood I don't get involved.
We get our lunch and sit down and a little boy across the table flips chocolate milk from my chin to my lap. I look at him. He looks at me. I ask him, well? He stares blankly. I know it was an accident but I say to him, sorry? oops? my bad? something? His g-ma watches me cleaning off my shirt and asks him if he did that and did he say sorry. Then she asks me if he did it as I'm cleaning chocolate milk off the table between us. She asks me this as she follows the line of milk from him to my lap. I just smile at her thinking here's your sign. We finish lunch and head back to gkid-5's classroom so I can take more pics and the other little boys g-ma looks up from the desk next to hers and says in the oddest voice, oh, we meet again. That's when I realized that I must have been out of line. I think I have been out of the public for too long. Maybe I have lost that social nicety that lets you say positive things to people while their dog is getting overly intimate with your leg. Maybe it's an age thing and their gkids are snot nosed little brats. I don't know and can't tell through the haze of cold medicine. Could this be me one day? I think I'll go take some more cold meds and go to bed. Probably safest place for me at the moment. :D

transparency

"The White House is collecting and storing comments and videos placed on its social-networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube without notifying or asking the consent of the site users, a failure that appears to run counter to President Obama's promise of a transparent government and his pledge to protect privacy on the Internet, the Washington Times reported.
Defenders of the White House actions said the Presidential Records Act requires that the administration gather the information and that it was justified in taking the additional step of asking a private contractor to "crawl and archive" all such material. Nicholas Shapiro, a White House spokesman, declined to say when the practice began or how much the new contract would cost.
"

Hmm, guess we never saw that one coming, huh :D
Someday I will have to worry about my seat on the train if I keep using the "O" word. Maybe we should all go to code. Because I disagree with the prez, I am technically a terrorist, not an American housewife. Is this the change that we all wanted? :) Anger and ridicule and nepotism? Maybe we wouldn't hear Hitler comparisons if he would stop doing Hitler comparisons.

sniffles

I. AM. SICK. and I am not happy about it. One of the kids brought home a cold and promptly passed it on. grr! I hate being sick! I whine so much I wish I would just shut up! Grumpy called today from hunt camp to say, 'I love you'. I told him if he truly loved me he would buy me some Advil cold and sinus. I won't buy it and yet it's the only thing that works for me. A few years ago my I took Dd2 to refill her prescriptions at the pharmacy. While she was filling them I realized that winter was coming and I should pick up some cold pills. She filled about a dozen scripts including digitalis, oxycontin and codeine cough syrup. She signed her name on their little machine (no i.d. needed) and she was ready to go and waiting for me. I handed my advil cold pills to the clerk and she let me know that it was an empty box for display but she would get them for me from the back, and, by the way please have my id ready. Ready for what? To buy my cold pills I had to show my licence and sign in 3 different places. For cold pills. Non prescription cold pills. As a point I have never bought them since. I refuse to show my id and go into a government database for cold pills. I guess it's my line in the sand. Meanwhile I suffer...loudly. Grumpy says he'll be home this weekend. I swear I heard him snicker.

absence make the heart fonder?

It was a wonderful weekend but you always pay for it later :)
Grumpy reports from hunt camp that the trannie went out on the way up and the elk are hiding but the new, stupid hunters are not. Makes it harder for the guys who were taught to respect the rules of hunting to deal with the arrogant asses with a new bow and not much savvy.
My wireless card went out in my laptop so I don't have much available time to hide out in my bedroom where the modem is. Add that to the fact that I am having a bumper year for crops and am slowly losing my mind canning.
Tonight I still have a cooking of tomatoes to start, have already put up my grape juice earlier, I still have pears and 3 different kinds of apples in totes on the back porch, jalapenos to pick and pickle, green peppers to freeze, and more tomatoes to be picked. and now the potatoes are almost ready. This is crazy! It's my first canning year...how the HELL do people keep up with the crops?! Thank goodness for the blog tip about dehydrating zucchini. Oh yea, my dehydrator is going also :) Grumpy had better come back with the
bacon!
fyi, it takes about 2 hours to skin and seed enough tomatoes to fill an 18 quart crockpot. ugh!

the MOST happy thought

Today is my MOST happy thought. Today I officially become a hunting widow (hunters widow?). Something like that. Today Grumpy and Ds leave for their annual hunting trip for 10 days. Today all the fkids leave for respite for the WHOLE long weekend. Today gbaby-5 is spending the long weekend with other gma. Today, after 4 pm, I am unplugging all the phones, shutting off the cell and the internet and not saying a single word to a living person for 4 whole days! My complete and total me time! Naps, eating ice cream bonbons for dinner, reading whole books at a time without having to stop and take care of something, long baths without interruptions for potty needs. I'm not even going to check the mail! Yep! This is so going to be a me thing!
Reality returns on Monday at 4pm with all the kids, but what an awesome break in reality until then! I hope everyone has a great Labor day weekend, but if not, I'll have one for you :D


happy thoughts

When I get a little overwhelmed by the big bad world I need to stop and take stock on what is important to the day to day. I may not be able to do much about the world beyond my little corner (except bitch and blog) but I can enjoy what I have right now.
So, some of my happy thoughts that I took pictures of in a 24 hour day...

The awesome lightening storm last night. Amazing what nature can produce.

The driveway to my home. My oasis from the outside world and when the kids are all here it's my heaven and my haven.

The sunlight through the trees can look mystical sometimes.

The sunlight peeking through the morning clouds after a stormy night.

The moon rising tonight. It's a blurry pic but was such an amazing sight I kept it any way. These things are all free. So I guess this would be my cheap list of happy thoughts :D

rhetoric or real?

This is not a political blog. This is a housewife blog. My problem is that I feel like I am watching a bus load of naive children heading off a cliff in slow motion but full audio. They're having a ball till they hit bottom. My problem is that I see things that really ARE there but others (Grumpy) don't. This is distracting me from my homebody loves. Frankly it is stressing me out.
I see a dangerous man writing policies that don't reflect American culture. I see a dangerous man who is allowed to decide what will be viewed by 'we the people' in the media news casts. I see a dangerous man who will decide what will be viewed on the Internet soon . They will empower the president to essentially turn off the Internet in the case of a 'cyber-emergency,' which they didn't define,"
I see an arrogant man who is actively seeking affirmation that he is "the Man". I say this because if I am wrong, then he is trying to turn our children in to something unAmerican. Next Tuesday schools are encouraged to show all students a video of Obama making statements. Then, depending on their age, they are to answer questions such as, " What can they do to help the president?" and are asked to "build background knowledge about the president of the United States by reading books about presidents and Barack Obama." or " to recall "other historic moments" when the president spoke to the nation."
One quote that sounded alarms to me was, "It essentially tries to force kids to say the president and the presidency is inspiring, and that's very problematic." My home does not support socialism. We feel that it is our duty to be as self sufficient as possible. We also feel that he surrounds himself with racist nuts and wonder aloud if that's who he is. If my child repeats something we have said in the privacy of our home to a probama teacher during discussion, is she marked for the rest of her school year? Will she be encouraged to repent? Will she be encouraged to continue to repeat our anti-Obama statements to her teacher? Sound off the wall?
We sit back and wonder how a country of Christian human beings in the 1940's murdered half their population one neighbor at a time just because a charismatic leader said it's the right thing to do. Could the start have been something just this simple?

angryfrustrateddisgustedetc

I read this article and had to vent. I am so ANGRY! I am an American. I am a patriot. I am a pioneer. I didn't vote for Obama. I didn't trust him and still don't. Yes, there are people who wanted change...but did they understand that the change would be the destruction of America as we know it at it's most basic foundation?
Obama signed a bill changing the remembrance of 911. Black Panthers, Acorn, Rainbow coalition and others presented a petition asking that this day be only remembered as a service day. They go on to say that America was attacked not for who we are but what we do. So, reading between the lines this tells me that we can no longer honor our fallen on 911. We can no longer be angry that terrorists attacked us on our homeland. We can no longer be sad that outsiders try to destroy our very fabric that makes us who we are. Instead we are to preform a service on this day. We are not to remember the terrorists that killed all those people. We are to do good deeds for others. We are to...what? Apologize for being a great nation? Crawl on the ground and beg forgiveness for who we are? Kiss those foreign asses? This is why we should never vote a politician with power into office who was not raised on American soil. They simply do not understand who we are, who they can never be, Americans!

in a local paper

"Let me get this straight.

We’re going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn’t understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn’t read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also hasn’t read it, and who smokes, with funding administered by a Treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that’s nearly broke.

What possibly could go wrong?"

Burt Harwood
Longview WA

a 'moment'

It's my son and his father, Grumpy. I love moments like this. Father instructing son. I have a lot of snapshots stored in the back of my mind, but when I can take a picture I know it will out live me. I haven't talked much about my son. At 22 he's starting to show signs of the man he will become. He's someone that I enjoy being around. He's a deep thinker and a limited talker. He reminds me of my dad at times :) He became a father at 17. He was allowed to be the daddy at 21. Some boys never do. Especially when the parents are helicopter parents and don't let them grow up, even to the point of taking over their child's parenting duties. How hard would it be if you are a full time 17 year old parent and YOUR parents are doing everything? Another thing I would have done different with hindsight, although she is truly the apple of our eye. He always puts family first, even before himself. He's the only kid who will surprise me with a clean kitchen after I have destroyed it cooking dinner just because I looked like I needed help. I guess I'm saying that I LIKE my son and am truly proud of him and that's something to enjoy.

deep thoughts

When I was very young I would live every day wanting to be older. It seemed like time would never move and the days lasted forever.
In my 20's I had children and time seemed to move only when I wasn't looking. The days would take forever but the years flew by and I waited for them to be grown. In their eyes I was God. I knew everything and I was the smartest person in the world.
When I was in my 30's time moved a little slower. I had 4 teens and every day was filled with crisis or drama. I got more sleep at night but somehow was never rested enough to get through the day. According to the kids I was 'out of touch' and wasn't as smart as they were. I went from 'the smartest person in the world' to 'mom' and I waited for them to be grown.
Now that I'm in my 40's I understand the rhythm of life a bit more. The days fly by as do the years but the moments have slowed down enough to be enjoyed. My kids are all grown and somehow I am smarter than I was a few years ago. I get calls daily asking for advice (or money) or assurance that things are going to turn out ok.

I spent most of my life wanting time to move faster and now I realize that I wanted or waited most of my life, instead of enjoying the moment. I'm just happy to take each day enjoying the moment instead of surviving the day. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older and more laid back or it's because of my empty nest. I suspect the latter :)
Someone made a comment to me recently that made me think deep thoughts. I don't have that driving need to please my kids any more. I don't have that driving need to have them be happy regardless of my own. I don't feel guilty at doing things without inviting them along. In fact, my guilt-able level has dropped down to almost nothing. The comment? "I think that in your 40's when your eggs start to rot you lose that urge to mother everything." Maybe so, but I can live with it :D

less options :)

So, Grumpy isn't leaving town. Personally I think it's because he would miss me for those 3 years..but he's not saying :) Right now he's not here mentally anyway. It's the home stretch for hunting. Loading the travel trailer, washing his clothes in baking soda, grocery shopping, sharpening his knives, etc. He'll be gone for about 10-14 days. I love it!! He gets enough meat to last all year and I get my one weekend a year...labor day weekend. Since the kids were little my mom would take them for those 3 days. now that they are gone I send the fkids to respite and shut off my phones and I watch chick flicks and I buy a container of bon bons and eat them for dinner :) and I sew, but most important...I watch the house stay clean. That's what I spend most of time at now (besides canning every day), spring (fall) cleaning. Closets, floor boards, walls, everything possible. Yesterday I had the fkids take their mattresses out in to the sun for the day. It looked pretty funny seeing all the mattresses lined up against the chain link fence :) Grumpy has his honey do list too. A gutter needs attention, a tree needs to come down etc. He does get a little resentful sometimes this close to his trip, but everything gets done and we are set for the next year.
We are coming up on my favorite season. FALL. I love fall with the winds and the rains and all the beautiful colors of the trees. It makes me feel like baking and making casseroles and nesting. Bring it on :D

life options

Grumpy got referred for a job that pays 4 times what he earns right now. With all the options and cutting back on our spending, that's one option I hadn't thought about. I still don't want to. It would mean that he'd be gone for a year clear across the country and out in the boonies, home for a bit and then gone another year. On the other hand if we played this right we could have our house and debts paid off in 3 years. This is a really hard thing. Do we sacrifice for 3 years and then coast our 'golden years' debt free? Do we stay the course and just cut back but continue to pay on our house and be in debt for another 26 years? I would REALLY like to be debt free but would hate to lose my family over money. He says that he's going and he leaves mid September. I haven't decided yet, it's a lot to think about.

sundaze

Our family reunion got indefinitely postponed because of illnesses. With all the health issues and geriatrics I'm not sure we can get everyone together without some bug floating around anymore. It didn't break my heart, but a little more notice than 2 days would have been nice. Oh, well, since I couldn't get my deposit back from the food concession machines I went all out for my foster party on Sunday.
Today I'm a little unsettled. I know my first person who had a house repo'ed. They went from the country to a rental in town. I want to run around MY house and lock all the doors. I want to go check on my chickies and my garden to make sure that we would be able to eat if we ran out of money. I want to panic and hide in my bed because if it could happen to Terri it could happen to me. Me and Grumpy will be going over our budget and seeing what we can put in 'bank ofourmattress' so that I can lose this knot in my stomach. Her poor family.

family

I have a family reunion here next weekend. 5 generations on my side, 4 on Grumpy's side plus a few friends of the family that should have been IN the family :) Our family is a little odd. None of us can stand each other and yet we get together all the time. Probably so we can't gossip about the one that didn't show. Nobody wants to be that 'one'.
So, every other year I go all out renting the concession machines and setting up the pool area, the gossip area, the smoking area, the elders area and the toddlers area. The house needs to shine and so does the garden and coop. I put myself through this because although I don't particularly like my family (and can't stand Grumpy's...even after over 2 decades of marriage) they ARE my family and I love them. So, we will gossip and chase kids and duck cameras and eat way too much food and everyone will forget that we don't particularly like each other until the ride home.

In the mean time I have appointments to keep and windows to wash (and 20 pounds to lose) so I'm off here for a week. See you on the other side of sanity :D

cabin fever

I have a serious case of cabin fever. Actually, I'm suffering because of cabin fever...the kids actually have cabin fever. It is supposed to break yesterdays record of 105 degrees today. It's also kids day at the fair. Think we're going? :) Not a chance in hell. I'm hot, crabby and tired. I still have to drive all day to various appointments and supervise a 2 hour visit at the park from 1-3. I believe that would be a very hot part of the day. They are STILL squabbling and they are all on time-out in their various rooms! grr. Is it bed time yet?!

New layout

I love my new layout. It has a couple bugs but for the most part it suits me and my numerous personalities. I have no idea how to put the page link buttons on. I did it to mine but I spent hours trying to read code and I think I accomplished it by accident. I was trying to do it, but the fact that it got done the way I wanted it to was by accident. God I love computers..don't understand them, but I love 'em! I like the link buttons because it makes my hobbies have their own space instead of jumbled all together. On my history link I want to start adding some of my family history. My gggrandma's diary excerpts etc. My chickies have their own area too. Anyway, this page is just for my rants and raves that have no particular spot.
My rant for the day is the heat. I live in the NW because it has a very mild climate. Not this week. 100 degrees is not mild, not to mention what it does to my mom and daughter with their health issues. I need to find things for dinner and prep them in the morning so I don't heat the house any more than I have to. grr. Like I WANT to cook lasagna at 8 in the morning. All I want at 8 in the morning is the rest of my pot of coffee. such is life :)

patience...

As you can see, my blog is now a work in progress. Click on the link of interest if you want a specific up-date. Thanks :) BTW, feedback helps :D Is this way harder or easier to find what you are looking for?

kicking the bucket

I saw commercials awhile back about some guy who was dying and had a list of what he wanted to accomplish before he died, hence, the bucket list. As I was vegging on the back porch last night I realized that although I am doing things that I love, I'm so busy doing the day to day that life is rolling by. I am in my 40s. Not old, but definitely not young any more. I'm not dying, in fact the last time I was at the dr's was to deliver my youngest :) I'm just not that crazy about dr's. I think most of them are idiots. I'm blessed with good health (so far) (knock on wood) but all that's beside the point. My point is that when we were told that Dd2 only had about 6 months (told you drs were idiots) rather than get depressed we came up with a bucket list and she set out to cross them off her list. She accomplished everything but 1 which was have a child. That's a different blog. This blog is about setting a list of things I would like to have accomplished before I am gone. I had some things in the back of my mind like raising chickens that I am working on and since I am a list maker, I added things that I have already started as well as things I still want to do. Here it is in no particular order;
  1. Win something. I would like to win a cool prize or the lotto or something. The only thing I have ever won was foster parent of the year last year. It sounds much cooler than it was so I don't consider it as a prize.
  2. Take one great picture. I am not photogenic. I am very nice looking in real life but take a picture of me and I look like a real dog. I have learned a few tricks for those yearly family pics, but still. ick. Nothing I want blown up for a funeral.
  3. Own a red jeep. I see them on the road everywhere taunting me, tops off, doors off, radio loud, no room for anything but groceries in the back seat. I would love to trade my Durango w/ the xtra seat in. Not yet, but before I am all gray. Old people driving cool cars look ridiculous (sorry mom, I know you love your convertible)
  4. Live in the country. I love my home. I wasn't buying a house, I was coming home. I have all the space I need for my orchard, garden and chickies. Grumpy on the other hand is not as enthralled. He wants to move somewhere closer to Mt Rainer and into the deep woods. I don't. We'll see what happens (or doesn't) :D
  5. ReCreate my ggrandmother's orchard. I have been working on this for 3 years now. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. It took me 2 years for the yellow plum alone. Still looking for a King and Gravinstein apple tree.
  6. Be self sufficient. Not because I have to, I just want to be able to. I want to be as self sufficient as my ggrandmother and gggrandmother. I have all their diary's and pictures of the homestead and find it amazing. They had very little stress in their lives because they were self sufficient. In fact the depression just passed them by. Between gardening, canning, hunting, and bartering they lived a very comfortable life. I would like to be off the commercial grid enough that food and gas prices don't affect me.
  7. Go to a good day spa. The kind that bring you foofy drinks and you are waited on hand and foot. This one I should do fairly quick. There just has to be a point of body gravity that you no longer bare your ass to strangers.
  8. Make a quilt for every child/grandchild. When my aunt was diagnosed with cancer we made her a picture couch quilt. It had pictures from her childhood on up and she took it with her everywhere. I believe she was buried with it. I would like to make a bed-sized quilt with all their childhood pics for each person. So much better than a photo album.
  9. Finish my genealogy book. I haven't worked on it much this last year and every year that goes by, some history gets lost. We have some amazing lines to follow back and I would like to get it all documented and printed before I die. How cool is it that my grand daughters will be accepted in 'The daughters of the Revolutionary war', 'Daughters of the Mayflower', 'Daughters of the Oregon Trail', etc. I have gotten back to about 800 ad with accepted lines going back even farther. History is amazing when you have a family spin on it.
  10. Go on a cruise to Alaska. I keep waiting for prices to drop so low that they pay me to go. Think that will happen any time soon? :D
  11. Get my home organized. I am always so amazed when I run into someone who is naturally organized. I have to do 3 times as much work trying to stay on top of things. When they build up too much I shut down for a couple days to catch up. Good thing I have a job with flexible hours :) It will take some major work to declutter my closets. Maybe after a trip to Goodwill it will be easier to stay on top of things.
  12. Learn how to cook. You would think after being married for 27 years I would be a good cook. I'm not. I'm a passable cook. Nowhere near the same thing. Case in point. I wanted to make some baking powder biscuits for dinner. 3 nights running and 3 different recipes every night and still can't find that WOW biscuit. They weren't bad, but they weren't great. I think it's something you are born with and I got skipped.
  13. Go to a renaissance fair. In costume. That would be so much fun for me, but no way in hell would Grumpy be caught dead with a codpiece and I wouldn't want to go alone. I enjoy period history and he thinks history is what he had for dinner last night. This one might take some work.
At night when it's quiet out it seems that my list goes on forever. hmm. Maybe now that I have it down on paper I can organize myself to cross off more things on my list. So, to quote Fred Meyers...what's on your list today? :)

TGIM (Monday)

I had all the grandkids for the night...added to the fkids, the boomerang kids and the animals. I am tired. nuff said there. They are waiting for the rain to stop and so am I :D

random changes in school

I found this in the joke section in the Backwoods Home Magazine. Wow, the changes that have happened in the schools in our country over these years. The sad thing is that these current scenarios that are handled each year are really just this ridiculous.

School 1958 vs. School 2008
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1958 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car, and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

2008 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail, and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2008 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives, and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1958 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1958 - Mark shares aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.

2008 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. U.S. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Independence Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up an anthill.

1958 - Ants die.

2008 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1958 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Independance Day

The Constitution of the United States of America

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

What's all about;

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Proud American, Proud Patriot.

Maybe it's because I have researched my family tree. I have an idea of what was lost in the fight for our independence by reading firsthand accounts from family back in the day. I had ancestors in all of the wars since they landed at Plymouth Rock. I have personally witnessed the changes of fighting for our country that can change a man or woman forever. My dad served 2 tours in Vietnam. Right now I have a niece in Afghanistan and a b-i-l in Iraq.

Remember today, Honour today, Celebrate today. If you see a service man..go up to him and shake his hand. Tell him you appreciate what he has sacrificed! It doesn't matter if you support the war or not, you can support the man willing to give up his life so that you didn't have to. Be a proud American!

tgir (respite)

It's the 4th of July weekend and I have respite. YIPPEE! I love it when a weekend comes together. The homes that the kids are going to are all planning all kinds of fun...which means I don't have to :) This will the first child free holiday for us. When you think about it, almost all holiday are geared for children. Easter is about the bunny and the candy, Halloween is about dressing up and bothering the neighbors about the candy, Christmas is about the presents and the stockings and the candy. I realize that if you don't have children it's celebrated different, but even my sister, who can't have children, goes all out for the nieces and nephews. Normally for us, the 4th is about family getting together, bbq'ing, lighting off fireworks in the front yard, sparklers and a lot of work to pull it off. This year me and Grumpy will grill something, maybe get a movie and kick back tomorrow. What do people do who don't have kids? Can't wait to find out!

I realize that sometimes I complain about the life that chose me. My sister can't sleep sometimes because of her ticking clock. She doesn't do baby showers or even hold babies. It's in the back of her mind and deep in her heart all the time. She'll be 40 in a couple years. Me? I had 4 children WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL, and not the same kind for any of them. I had my children before my body even developed a clock. It just never came on. I could never understand how she feels. I look at her and see what I could have been, but in a different light from how she sees herself. I see a woman who comes and goes as she pleases. I see a woman who doesn't have to live by a schedule, who can hit the mall because she has money in her pocket that doesn't have to be spent on a childs never-ending needs. I see a woman who can live for herself instead of living her life sacrificing for the children. I see a woman who can have any hobby she wants without putting it up each night.
I see a woman who will never suffer parental guilt or second guess her every decision late at night. This is the very real pain that lives in the back of my mind and deep in my heart. What if I screw it up?

My Dd2 has a clock. She says it keeps her up at night. She called me earlier this week to tell me that her cardiologist and she has decided that, at 25, depending on her next echo, she can have a baby. 2 years ago I was supposed to plan her funeral twice! A year ago the doc told her that if she becomes pregnant she will die before her period is late because of the strain on her heart. For 4 years she has been dealing with end stage cardiomyothopy and all that goes with it. 4 months ago her defibrillator kicked her heart going 2 separate times. WHAT. THE. HELL. Is her cardiologist an idiot?! Dd2 tells me that I don't know what it's like to want a baby. She's right, I don't, but I do know what it's like to raise other peoples babies because for whatever reason, they can't. Who is the selfish one? The one who wants to be a mom even if it kills her? Or the one that won't support her baby, even if it kills her. Probably both of us :/ It's not my life and I love and support my baby (outwardly) whether I agree with her decisions or not. It's the mom in me. Can I deny her the same?

it's a kid thing

Picture this...I'm outside rocking out with my headphones watering the berry garden. I had a wonderful day. I had 4 eggs laid, dinner was done, the kids all settled in for the evening wore out from swimming all day, Grumpy watching the news while the gkid-5 and f-5 were playing neighbors in the back of the house. So, I'm in the back yard bouncing around (probably singing...badly) and going over my day and what I need to do tomorrow and enjoying a bit of me time when I hear, 'Hello, HELLO.' I look up and see a county cop in front of me. 'You Mrs k?' yeess. 'We have had a report from this address and need to follow up.' okaay. 'Do you have young kids here?' crap. and again crap. Let me go get them. He follows me to the back door, 'Do you mind if I come in?' Nope, come on in. I see f-5 playing with the magnets on the fridge. I call for gkid-5 and when she comes into the kitchen I say to her, Hey sweetie, do you know why we have a policeman in our kitchen? (which, by the way, still had the dinner mess everywhere, wet swim stuff in a pile ect. ugh, cringing over that one). f-5 pipes in I didn't call them. Gkid-5 says, but mema, we were just pretending to call 911. lovely. Apologies all around, feeling like an idiot. Gotta love 'em, you go to jail if you kill them. ;]

Egg count for today......1
green, under the coop
I went to put it in the carton, decided to clean them all up a bit and realized that my 2 brown eggs both have darker speckles. I thought one came from my buff because it was brown, and had, I thought, dirt speckles. Is it physically possible for a chickie to lay 2 eggs in a day? I only have one Marans. hmm. What do you think?


Happy Father's Day :)

Mom and Sdad were coming over for a bbq dinner and I wanted to do something a little special. He works so hard on our garden and I wanted to say thanks. We had plenty of elk steaks in the freezer so I made dinner a little more formal than we usually have. For dessert we had the carrot cake I canned last night because it's Sdads favorite and ice cream. The ice cream was a lot of fun!

First, assemble your ingredients. I gave the kids the options of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. You can also add crumble cookies, candy bits, pretty much anything you want.

Per serving, you need a pint freezer bag. Place into baggie 1 cup of half & half, 2 tablespoons of sugar and 1/2 teaspoon of flavoring. You really don't need want more than that, it gets very strong.

Seal baggie. You don't need to mix it, but you want to be sure it's sealed VERY well.


Place sealed baggie into a gallon sized freezer bag with 1/2 cup of rock salt and about 4 cups of ice, enough ice to fill about 1/2 way. You can use table salt in a pinch, but it takes longer to process. Again, seal well.


At this point you simply shake it for about 10 minutes. The bag gets very, VERY cold, so we ad libbed with oven mitts.


At this point the ice cream is very hard and ready to eat. Open the big bag, rinse off the smaller bag quickly. Use a pair of scissors to snip off a corner of the bag and squeeze into a bowl. You want to be careful not to get any of the salt from the outside of the bag into the ice cream. ick.


It tastes really rich and creamy, but doesn't freeze well. It gets extremely hard, too hard to enjoy so only make what you will eat. This worked so well and tasted great, even the adults enjoyed it. Next time I will use a food saver instead of the pint bags. I can make an assortment of the mixes ahead of time and store them in the fridge. If I use the make-your-own-size bags
I can shape the ice cream into tubes. I will just cut off the end and have them eat it like a pop-ice or a squeeze pop. Less dishes to wash, and easier to place more than 1 tube per gallon bag. I had to do a couple for the little ones. With the tube shaped bags I could have done them at the same time. A standard bag of ice was enough to make 6 servings without reusing, which I could have done if necessary. Enjoy!

stolen happy thoughts

I was roaming around the net trying to ignore the dishes calling me from the sink. I came across this on this page and had to repost it. Need a happy moment? read on :)

Dear Dogs and Cats
:
  • The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
  • The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
  • I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
  • For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
  • The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
  • They live here. You don't.
  • If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
  • I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
  • To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids & teenagers because they:
  • eat less
  • don't ask for money all the time
  • are easier to train
  • normally come when called
  • never ask to drive the car
  • don't hang out with drug-using people
  • don't smoke or drink
  • don't want to wear your clothes
  • don't have to buy the latest fashions
  • don't need a gazillion dollars for college
  • and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

nostalgia

Paul Harvey once wrote:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks a way so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hanukkah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Paul Harvey,……………Good Day!

Memorial

Memorial day is a day of remembering those we lost, but in a good way. I believe that you never really die until you are forgotten.

So, I remember Danny, my brother-in-law. He was my first experience with loss. Until he died I believed that we were invincible. He was a party animal looking for his soul mate who died one icy December morn on his way to work. It's been over 21 years since my husband lost his best friend.

I remember Aunt Marie, my great Aunt. She was an RN during Pearl Harbor and retired doing geriatrics. Always a caregiver who only wanted a baby, but couldn't carry one. She treated us all like we were hers.

I remember Aunt Paula, my moms sister. She taught me that people need goals to succeed. She taught me that you need to tell your children you love them or they won't know it and it will be too late. She taught me how to quilt. Most of all, she taught me that women are the glue that holds the family together.

I remember my great uncle Bert and My great uncle AC. One on my dads side. one on my moms side , 2 men who had never met, but so similar. Neither man had a child but was incredibly loving and died of old age surrounded with family, not alone. Both men taught me that honor and dignity was something that just was and not to accept less.

I remember my aunt Wanda, moms other sister, who taught me the little things that mean a lot in life. She fought with every fibre in her being to stay with her family, and again, she reinforced to me that women are the glue that holds the family together.

I remember my son in law Tony. At 18, he was ran off the road by a 15 year old drunk driver at the beginning of his life. He was enrolled in college and had been married for 2 weeks. His was the first funeral I had ever been in charge of. It's hard. You can't grieve if you have to make decisions all day. He taught me that life changes plans and that everyone needs to roll with it. He was a quirky kid with a bad childhood who wanted better for himself and his new family. He was the love of my daughters life.

But most of all, I remember my dad. My dad came back from Vietnam a different man than the one who left. He was a quiet man who spoke seldom, but when he did you needed to pay attention. He loved quick and forever. He was the only person I have ever met that didn't have a single enemy, or was even disliked by anyone. He was an honorable man, old school honorable. Family was important to him, and so was having a good work ethic and a sense of humor.
It's been 15 years dad. I love you and I miss you.
See ya pops.

growing up

I came across this video on a random site and couldn't resist watching it. As I was watching it, however, I recognized myself. On the video it's funny, in real life it sounds like a mom with control freak issues. No wonder I'm having a hard time growing up. I have to let the kids grow up first, cause the really sad thing is..if you talk to my kids they'll tell you that I still sound this way and they are all grown adults. (Might help if I stop referring to them as kids) Enjoy the video, like I said, it's funny when it sounds larger than life :D
New video, the other ones got repo'ed from it's owner :)

sundaze

The beach was SO absolutely wonderful. My weekend was perfect. Grumpy did remember our anniversary and surprised me with breakfast in bed Saturday. Unfortunately for me I don't eat until noon, I drink coffee :) The weather was nice and the beach wasn't too crowded. After we checked in we could see this large tree in the distance off the path a bit. So, we unpack, walk half a mile in the sand to see this amazing tree from the Lewis and Clark trip to the coast. It didn't look quit right. Grumpy banged on it and it echoed. Trees don't echo. The story goes, Lewis and Clarke kept the coordinates from his journey. He noted in his book that he carved his name into a tree at that spot and someone decided to do a 'recreation.' Would have been nice to know that before the hike :) The hotel was incredible, the view wonderful, the sunset much improved with my favorite Baileys and butterscotch liquor. It was a very relaxing anniversary, and unusual for us. I think I said before, this was our first since the kids aged out. It's a little odd not putting others ahead of yourself. I had to catch myself and decide if the ideas of what to do was something I wanted to do, or just leftover habits from what the kids thought was fun. We ate our meals out and walked the boardwalk. We spent hours walking the beach and remembering why we clicked the first time we met. He's Grumpy, but he's my Grumpy.

TGIF!!!

Something in the air today already :) The fkids woke up squabbling (no, that's mine...no, we traded for it...well I want it back...well then where's mine at?...I don't know but I want mine back). I let the pup out and he and the cats started squabbling. He's a pom, they are huge. One day they will lose patience. I let the chickies out and they start their version of American Gladiators. Maybe I'll pick up 2 bottles of wine :D On a funny note, Grumpy forgot our anniversary again. At least I think he did. Happens about 1/3 the time. He thinks he's taking me away for Mothers day. Shh. About 15 years ago he walks in from work and I'm cooking dinner. He walks into the kitchen and says, 'wow, stir fry, you only make that for our anniversary, what's up with that?' I just smile at him and the kids start laughing. He got the funniest look on his face and walked over the calender on the fridge and says, 'aw shit, May 9th' and walks out the door. 20 minutes later he walks in with a card from safeway, and I didn't have to clean the kitchen that night. I still have that card. I forgot one year (oops). He rode me for that one for several years. Saturday will be interesting. I never know if he forgot or he thinks that I forgot and he'll try to catch me up. Hmm, did he or didn't he. The odd little inside jokes that couples do...keeps life interesting. TGIF and I'm on track to leave. YEA!!

resolved

  1. X Clean the house for this week-end
  2. make sure all the laundry is done and garbage is out
  3. buy a good bottle of wine for the beach condo (w/fireplace and ocean view)
  4. X shave my legs
  5. X clean chickie coop and add more roosts (before the shower)
  6. X drop all the fkids at respite
  7. drop the bills at the post office
  8. gas up and load up the truck
  9. have an awesome weekend anniversary
  10. :D

am I retired?

What is the role of a mom after they all fly the coop? Am I on-call? Am I a built in babysitter? Am I still the problem solver? Am I still the go to person? Am I an atm? Am I supposed to wait around until needed? Isn't a mom someone who raises their kids and then gets a life?

I want to start a life. I have put mine on hold and sacrificed for over 27 years. I have been a wife and mother since I was 17. We raised 4 kids on a single income. New shoes, new clothes, new make-up, hot food, sleep, that was all for the kids and I made do with what was left. The tv mom that ate whatever lunch was left over from the kids?...that was me. I went at least 25 years eating cold grilled cheese sandwiches. I'm not bitching about it. It was something that I believed in, still believe in. You have a child, you raise that child to the best of your ability...not your convenience. I can say that because I have also been raising my 4.11 year old grand daughter. I see what happens when you don't. My son and his girlfriend were 17 and 16 respectively and had broke up rather angrily before they knew about her. I admit I made a mistake in parenting their child but at the time it was the right decision. It became a safety issue at one point in the beginning and I really thought that it wouldn't be long before one of them stepped up to be the full time parent. It did not become the happy-ever-after afterschool special. Grumpy and I adore her, but would like to put away the toys some day. Obviously she gets things that our children didn't and our other gkids don't. She lives with us full time, she's an only, we don't get financial help for her, she goes to school (yes, we pay for that too) and has expenses and at this time in our lives we have more time AND money. Is that fair? Why would it need to be?! We are different people in a different situation than we were 20 years ago.

The point of this (whatever it is) is that Dd1 has finally laid down the law. Because I don't treat all grandkids equally, I can't have the other 3 anymore. The final blow up has come after a couple years of quiet resentment. I didn't even see it coming. I never treated my kids equal when they were growing up, I treated them depending on who needed what for why. Her MIL does though and she feels I should too. I had her 2 oldest last Friday night but wanted to send all the gkids home to their moms for Saturday night. It was a long week and I get tired by Friday. Sue me. When I have the gkids over night I like to do it on a Thursday because that way everyone goes with their mom on Friday and I can recoup over the weekend, maybe get a little housework done. She was incensed. I have her brother's kid all week, I should have hers on the weekends. huh. I love her, but completely disagree with her. Have you ever tried to disagree with a type 1 personality? It's not pretty. In 27 years we have not had a falling out and now we have a big one. Actually a little piece of my heart got broke. I am who I am. I am an unfair mom who does the best I can. I make no apologies for that. I'm just sad that a child I raised thinks that withholding the gkids that I love is acceptable because I dared disagree with her. Should I send the one gkid to her mom where she might not be safe and only take her when I have the other 3? Would that be ok because it's fair? She says yes because she shouldn't be punished for being a good mom.

So, that takes me back to my original question. What do I owe them? What is my daily role in my childrens lives on once they are past 18 and on their own? Am I even supposed to have one?


Ok, done whining and back to planning for our first anniversary since our nest emptied out. We are so outa here for the weekend! :) Just because we can :)

sundaze

So, it's a Sunday and I haven't gotten dressed yet and it's 3 in the afternoon. :D On the other hand I did put in 5 rows of corn, 1 pea, 1 bean, 1 onion, and several watermelon, cantaloupe, and sugar pumpkin plants in my pj's. Guess I'll have to shower and put on some clean pj's and see who's willing to cook dinner for us. (That's a joke) haha

I couldn't be outside to finish planting. I had a couple additions to my family over the weekend. L-15 and C-6 and I'm not comfortable having people I don't know in my house while I'm outside. So, having all this frustrating free time I created my garden on how it SHOULD look with my awesome paint program. It works just like photoshop but it's a free download and then you can up-date it with photoshop additions. You can find it at paint.net. I had to cook dinner, but managed to not get dressed today :D Everyone should have a meetable goal in life.
(Click on the picture for the full effect)

another look at shots



Medical Research News

New research published in the International Journal of Toxicology (IJT) by Gary S. Goldman, Ph.D., reveals high rates of shingles (herpes zoster) in Americans since the government's 1995 recommendation that all children receive chicken pox vaccine.

Goldman's research supports that shingles, which results in three times as many deaths and five times the number of hospitalizations as chicken pox, is suppressed naturally by occasional contact with chicken pox. Dr. Goldman's findings have corroborated other independent researchers who estimate that if chickenpox were to be nearly eradicated by vaccination, the higher number of shingles cases could continue in the U.S. for up to 50 years; and that while death rates from chickenpox are already very low, any deaths prevented by vaccination will be offset by deaths from increasing shingles disease.

Another recent peer-reviewed article authored by Dr. Goldman and published in Vaccine presents a cost-benefit analysis of the universal chicken pox (varicella) vaccination program. Goldman points out that during a 50-year time span, there would be an estimated additional 14.6 million (42%) shingles cases among adults aged less than 50 years, presenting society with a substantial additional medical cost burden of $4.1 billion. This translates into $80 million annually, utilizing an estimated mean healthcare provider cost of $280 per shingles case.

After a child has had varicella (chickenpox), the virus becomes dormant and can reactivate later in adulthood in a closely related disease called shingles--both caused by the same varicella-zoster virus (VZV). It has long been known that adults receive natural boosting from contact with children infected with chicken pox that helps prevent the reactivation of shingles.Based on Dr. Goldman's earlier communications with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Goldman maintains that epidemiologists from the CDC are hoping "any possible shingles epidemic associated with the chickenpox vaccine can be offset by treating adults with a 'shingles' vaccine." This intervention would substitute for the boosting adults previously received naturally, especially during seasonal outbreaks of the formerly common childhood disease."Using a shingles vaccine to control shingles epidemics in adults would likely fail because adult vaccination programs have rarely proved successful," said Goldman. "There appears to be no way to avoid a mass epidemic of shingles lasting as long as several generations among adults."

Goldman's analysis in IJT indicates that effectiveness of the chickenpox vaccine itself is also dependent on natural boosting, so that as chickenpox declines, so does the effectiveness of the vaccine. "The principal reason that vaccinees in Japan maintained high levels of immunity 20 years following vaccination was that only 1 in 5 (or 20%) of Japanese children were vaccinated," he said. "So those vaccinated received immunologic boosting from contact with children with natural chickenpox. But the universal varicella vaccination program in the U.S. will nearly eradicate this natural boosting mechanism and will leave our population vulnerable to shingles epidemics."For decades it was thought shingles increased with age as older individuals' immune systems declined. However, Goldman's new research shows this phenomenon seemed primarily due to the fact that older people received fewer natural boosts to immunity as their contacts with young children declined.

Gary S. Goldman, Ph.D. served for eight years as a Research Analyst with the Varicella Active Surveillance Project conducted by the Los Angeles County Department of Health Services (LACDHS). The project was funded by the CDC.

What this long drawn out article says is that the CDC realized almost 5 years ago that adults need to be exposed to chicken pox as much as young kids . When you are a kid you usually get a mild case of chicken pox. As you grow you normally don't get it again because you are re-immunized every time you are exposed naturally. When you have a baby, the baby receives your anti-bodies and stays immune for a while. So, no chicken pox exposure, just the shot? (actually I think it's up to 3 shots now, but will probably need to go to every other year boosters) You will get shingles as an adult with a higher death risk. Your baby has no immunity. I believe that we will have 'shingle' epidemics in college along with the measles epidemics. We can't play God with Mother Nature. We need to be MORE aware of the long term consequences of changing the world to suit us. Just because we can create something doesn't mean it's a great thing. Me? I still look for exposure parties, it's just harder to find them. I'm too damn old to be down for 2 weeks with itchy pain :D


sheeple

I was randomly lurking around the net tonight, enjoying the peace and quiet that ensues after the sugar crash kicks in :D Again I hit on a random blog that caught my notice here. It was a well thought out article about childhood immunizations. What pissed me off beyond all belief was a great many of the comments given. A couple words I read over and over again were 'unforgivable' and 'selfish'. One little blip pretty much caught the tone of the 'haters'.. "That's why herd immunity is important. It isn't just about you and your choices -- it is about participating in a common good that protects all of us." WOW. Powerful stuff, except my child, my right...right? Oh yea, unless it makes you unhappy. huh. My eldest is 27 years old. Hearing the story about my mom's doc trying to give her Thalidomide for morning sickness when she was pregnant with me (It was prescribed as an anti-emetic for morning sickness. Children were born deformed and was already banned in 3 countries when FDA approved it), I grew up knowing that Doctors were not Gods. When I had my children I did research the best I could for the times. What I came up with was that my children could have shots delivered singly and only every 6 months. They were on track for the start of school and that's all that matters, right? As time went on I also decided that any shot given to my child (or grandchild) had to be dispensed for at least 25 years. I never wanted my daughters to have 'DES Daughters' with all of that heartbreak. God knows what the new shots will do to future generations because no one else does. I recently went rounds with my grand daughters' pediatrician. She was angry that I said I wasn't comfortable giving my 2 year old grandchild 8 shots. I felt that 1 at a time was safer. She was YELLING at me that I was wrong and she wanted to know where I got my information. I held up my hand and repeated (several times) 'this is not for debate, this is how it will be'. She said 'fine, I'll combine them into one shot'. Seriously? Are other parents that stupid? Oh, yea, that argument will totally change my mind. Wow. one shot with 8 mixed up? That should be MUCH safer. geez. She tried to slam the door on her way out (tried because you can't slam a dr door..(snicker) when I refused to debate her. :D geez...children. Rather than force parents to play russian roulette with their children, why can't they just manufacture a safer shot!?!
#1 drug manufacturers make money on each shot given regardless of quality (recall anyone?)
#2 we are not given the country of origin of the ingredients
#3 we do not have enough information on long term side-effects
#4 most shots given must be given again because they 'wear off'
#5 some kids have severe allergic reactions to the binding agent
#6 tests are not done on children to see if they carry these allergies
#7 not all children immunized develop autism. All autistic children received an immunization.
#8 the FDA rubber stamps most medications, even knowing that it may be banned in other countries because of side-effects
#9 If immunizations are so great, why do you worry whether my child has the latest and greatest? Maybe the coverage isn't as good as you wish?
#10 my gut instinct will always trump sheeple :D

Sheeple is a Term of disparagement, a portemanteau created by combining the words "sheep" and "people."
It is often used to denote persons who voluntarily acquiesce to a perceived authority, or suggestion without sufficient research to fully understand the scope of the ramifications involved in that decision, and thus undermine their own human individuality or in other cases give up certain rights. The implication of sheeple is that as a collective, people believe whatever they are told, especially if told so by a perceived authority figure believed to be trustworthy, without processing it or doing adequate research to be sure that it is an accurate representation of the real world around them.

ps...BTW this replaced an obama/sheeple blog I've been working on. All kinds of hypocrisy. The right to immunize safely just seemed more important than my need to gloat :)
pps...I LOVE the word sheeple. I smile every time I say it. It just seems to say SO much about todays people for such a simple little thing. sheeple (snickers) SHEEPLE (LMAO)

sundaze

It's Easter morning and my house is tore up from the construction and too many people and the fact that even the maid (me) gets an afternoon off. I need to get off my a.m. butt, get the house picked up and start the bread rolls for Easter dinner. My folks are coming over. The baskets are hid in the bedrooms and soon the excited grumblings of a sugar high gone wrong will be in the air. Any one who believes that sugar will not cause a sugar high and crash is either not a parent or is an idiot :) The really sad news is that once again I have to get dressed and go-fer today. ick. I wish you all the happiness of celebrating this day in the manner you see fit. God bless America and Happy Easter.

expanding the nest

We decided (actually I decided and browbeat Grumpy) that since the economy is south my 2 boomerang children will probably be here for a while. Ds and plus one aren't too bad. I gave them the mother-in-law cottage out back. It used to be to house my teen foster children learning Independent Living Skills. m-16 was my only out there at this time till m-16 flew the coop with some high end merchandise last week. It's a cute little one bedroom self contained so we only see as much of each other as we choose and I choose not to see his mess. Space really does make for better relationships with your grown children :D My Dd3, however, didn't have a spot to drop. Our Easter holiday will be spent building a room in the corner of the basement family room. Less than 400 dollars for a 10x12 room with a locking door knob. My argument to Grumpy is that our pretty little butterfly's messes will be contained behind closed doors. Right now she has spread herself pretty thick over the entire family room and once she's contained we can use the family room again :) My argument was won with the idea that after Dd3 leaves the nest (again) we can shut off the heat to that room and have a wonderful food storage room. Right now I'm sharing half the laundry room and under the stairs. While I'm creating a bedroom I'm dreaming of my perfect room with rows and rows of shelves filled with jewel colored quart jars sparkling in a permanent cool room down in the basement behind lock and key. Eventually :)

Happy B-day mom

Today is my mom's 5th birthday. 5 years ago on Good Friday my mom had emergency surgery to replace her mechanical heart valves. It was supposed to be a 2 and 1/2 hour surgery. We were frantic after 11 hours and still no word on mom. FINALLY the surgeon came out and told us that if he knew how bad her heart had deteriorated he never would have open her up. She died 3 times on the table and lived :) On Good Friday no less. Blew out 2 sets of valves, but finally got one set to stay. 18 months of recuperation and she's good as gold :D Happy Birthday mom.

work in progress


The sun is gone for a couple weeks but I took stock on what needs to be done.WEEDING ick. So not my favorite

My first Tulip ready to pop :) Last year the rabbits ate most of them

Odd view of Trouble, but she's cute anyway. My chickens want to stay out all night and stay in all day. At least they don't run from me when I pick them up.

My orchard is waking up. All except my Red Jonagold. I discovered it was Buddy's pee station. No more Red Jonagold

My strawberries survived that last frost. More weeding.

My peppermint and spearmint plants are peeking out. Very invasive plants, but doing ok in the pot. Still trying to get rid of it in the flower beds :)

Slugs are attacking my plants already. A little white fireplace ash will fix that.

Potato seeds getting ready to go in the buckets Russets and golds

The Mr and Mrs. She is much darker, smaller and more timid than he is. They are SO sweet and social. My favs

Not a leaf in sight but my Magnolia tree is ready for Easter

My hens and chicks survived the winter with just a little burn

My moms bank went belly up and was taken over by a bank (umpqua) with incredibly rude tellers. She lost a bundle and closed her account ..but hey, they gave her 2 trees (sigh) stupid greedy bank execs

Every year at this time I tell myself that I'm going to dig up all the free range bulbs on the property and put them in a bed. Every year I procrastinate until I can't find them. I doubt this year will be any different.

1# Plant 5 more fruit trees
2# add 5 more blueberry bushes
3# Somehow get rid of that bamboo-like weed
4# Clean out my greenhouse for a winter garden
5# Find a young Buff Mr Roo
6# Encourage youngest 2 to succeed (move out)
7# Quit taking dual diagnosis teens
8# Dig out my sewing machine
9# Get a pedicure (something just for me)

sundaze


Ever have a day like this? Up a tree without a ladder :) My dog Lexie chased Tabitha across the yard and the cat happened to pick a tree without large branches.The more she tried to get secure the more the the branch drooped.
I brought her a ladder. There was NO WAY I was going to climb a ladder 20 feet up a tree and try to convince an 18 lb cat that it was ok to be picked up. She's pissy on a good day!
Her dignity was sorely hurt :) I haven't seen her since she climbed down. No dead mices for me for a couple days :)


pause...

I don't watch soaps (although Grumpy has persisted in thinking for over 20 years that I watch soaps and eat bon bons all day), I don't belong to any socializing groups and if you don't know the theme song to Sesame Street, we don't have much in common. I had a myspace for a while and had fun decorating it and peeking in on my kids to see what was going on in their lives. After a SHORT while I realized that there are things I just didn't want to know about. It's the mom in me. Do I really want to know that Ds took his snow board out after an ice storm at 3 in the morning and he and his friends raced around on the city streets pulling each other behind the truck? No. Did I want to know that Dd3 got a tattoo on her butt? No. There's more, but they are adults (grin) and capable of making decisions that I would not agree with. Therefor, less information is better for moms sometimes. I say this out loud because I still like living vicariously through others. I am a recent blogger. I have been reading my cousins blogs for years but never knew how to make one until I came across a random blog while looking for canning help. Just push this button and whoop! there it is :) Again I had fun decorating it and rearranging it till it pleased me. Then I would google random subjects and peek at other blogs. Stuff like canning, small farming, saving money, going green etc. Somehow I came across a blog about a mom just diagnosed with breast cancer. I put it in my watch pile and would check in (I think it's called lurking?) and see how things are doing. She blogged the night before her double mastectomy on March 19 and I waited for her return. Nothing. I peeked at her cousin's blog. She hadn't been on either. After 2 weeks of nothing I finally started peeking at both of their blog rolls. There it was on someones brothers cousins mothers page. It had metastasised. It was through her. Cancer may not always be a death sentence, but the process can be enough to wish it were. She's a normal mom. She runs a daycare. She has a teen bratchild. And she may be dying. They cut off her boobs, now they want to fill her body full of toxins that will exhaust her and make her feel even MORE like crap. What do you say to a perfect stranger? Do you say 'oh I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do for you?' Duh. She has no clue who I am. Maybe I'm a nut :) The reason that this reaches me is number 1, we have cancer deaths in my family, number 2, I find it a foul cruelty to strike down a mom with young kids at home. It affects the kids in ways that won't show for years. A caretaking mom on chemo vomiting, weak, emotional and her darling kids who are tired of waiting for mom to get better start acting out. Relatives who are there in the beginning start to fade away when the real work starts. Maybe the relatives that won't go away are the ones that are driving you crazy. People stop calling like cancer is contagious. It really affected my whole family even though it was my Aunt and her family who dealt. I watched her family try to survive what I felt was my worst nightmare come to life. You would think that suffering an indignity like cancer would mean a bit of leeway in life. A little bit of a pass in sucky situations. Nope. You still have to unclog the toilet and pay the bills and settle down crabby kids while you worry about not being there in 2 years. My kids are grown for the most part, but I talk to them or see them a couple time a day. What would they do without me? What would Grumpy do without me? She still hasn't updated her blog. I worry about a perfect stranger that I will never meet.

a foolish fool

My moms family is dour. All of them, not a single sense of humor between any of them. That pioneer stock made them survivors, but shrunk their sense of humor to the size of a walnut. Dry humor is about as good as it gets. That's the background.
I needed to help my mom unpack but also had a dozen errands to run for my house yesterday. So when my mom calls I tell her, 'hey mom, why don't you call the girls (my sisters) and tell them that the rental isn't working out and you need to move in. After they freak you can say APRIL FOOLS!'. I figured that would keep her busy for a bit and she would forget that I've been telling her for 2 days I'll be right over. She calls me about an hour later laughing that the Middle One took a lot of deep breaths. (mom) Hi dear, I'm having so many problems with the landlord and now the hot water tank went out. It's just not going to work out and I need to move in with you. (Middle One) deep breath, wow, really, have you called the landlord and left messages, maybe he's busy. (mom) no, he said he'll get to me when he can and I can't stay here if I can't shower. (Middle One) okaay, deep breath, when were you thinking about moving in? (mom) I'm packing right now, we'll be there in about 2 hours. (Middle One) um, okaay, umm, you'll have to stay in the family room for a bit until I can move the boys around. (mom) thank you dear, oh, by the way, happy April 1st. (Middle One) long pause, quietly spoken...mom, you're a bitch. After she quits laughing I ask her if she's called the youngest yet (I'm still running errands), she says not yet but she'll do it right now. She calls me 20 minutes later in tears. She tells me it was terrible. She started with her story about the landlord to Youngest One and says she needs to move in with her. Youngest One says 'I have to go mom, I'll call you right back' and hangs up. She says Youngest One calls her back 10 minutes later in tears, says hubby says he's done enough for the in-laws and if they move in he's leaving her and mom can't tell her it was an Aprils fools joke and now it backfired terribly. I break in at this point (ms. care-taker and problem solver to the rescue) and say 'mom, I'll call hubby in law and make this right and I'll call you right back and hang up on her. I'm thinking to myself, he doesn't have a large family, he wants his wife to himself, that's ok, we are a bit much, but he can't leave his wife over a bad joke, we can't have problems in the family, we're together too often, I have to fix this, this was a joke, a terrible joke, what an awful idea, a divorce from a joke. I call said hubby in law at work and say, 'Hey, I guess mom got us all with this April fools joke about moving in with us all and Youngest One is pretty upset but it was a joke that got out of hand' he asks if his wife is ok and then says never mind he'll just call her and hangs up (this family hangs up on each other WAY too much). So I call mom back while I'm thinking to myself that his response was odd to me. They've been married for almost 15 years so I've seen him in every mood. That wasn't an angry mood, but I call mom while I'm walking in the door from errand 8 and prepping for errand 9 and tell her what he said. I tell her that I believe everything will be ok, he's calling Youngest One. She's really quiet and I focus for a moment. OH SHIT. I know what's coming. 'APRIL FOOLS!! We got you! It was all Youngest Ones idea to get you back and it worked'! I take a breath, realizing that they got me. They really got me. They got me by knowing me SO well. I'm the eldest. I'm the Problem Solver, and got took for it. I muttered gracelessly 'you are both such Bitches'! Mom says that's 3 for 3 on the name calling. She says Youngest One didn't even call hubby, just says ok mom, but I have to go to work so you'll have to make the beds. I tell mom, we don't do this next year. We never do this again. What if one of them said to her, no mom, you can't move in, so sorry about your luck. This could have turned out so badly. NO MORE JOKES. Then I call Youngest One and say, I hope you know that mom's on her way to the hospital with a blood clot from laughing her ass off at me. No takers.

ZZZZZZZ

I'm tired. I'm not sick anymore (snicker), but I'm caring for everyone else with the flu. With the arrival of my son and plus one, my daughter, plus bugbug, my 4 foster teens, my grand daughter, Grumpy, 2 gold fish, 10 chickies, 2 cats, 1 dog (sadly our German Shepard of 12 years went to puppy heaven yesterday) now of whom MOST are sick...I'm tired. Dinner for 10 each night and the cleaning involved (god forbid someone get up and help..they're SICK) I'm getting a little pissy. I know that my grown 2 have taken care of themselves and their basic needs when they lived on their own. At least I assume so, when I saw them they looked well fed with clean clothes. Something happened when they moved home. They became children again. ick.
I was so excited when I started this blog. I was going to settle my foster 4 into long term/adoptive homes at the end of the school year, grow chickies...maybe sell some babies down the road, grow my garden,
can, wear funny hats and no make up and enjoy quiet times. I was NEVER going to get dressed on Sundays. I was going to have the gkids over every other Saturday so they could eat a ton of chocolate and ice cream and go home on Sunday morning full of maple syrup. I was going to have a life. A well deserved life for a mom who has committed to her kids for 27 years and should have been laid off last October. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY PINK SLIP PLEASE.
So, reality check. A couple of my kids need to get back on their feet, find a job and move on. It happens. When I think about it only the last 2 or 3 generations had children move out when they turned 18. For thousands of years we have multiple generations living at home. Grandparents help with the little one while the young parents toil for the family. Maybe a widowed aunt or spinster cousin hanging around. Everyone helping with the daily chores. It's how it was in my family. My great grand parents lived wit
h his parents and raised their 3 children until his parents died of old age. Their children stayed home until college/marriage/army. It's just how things worked, multi-generational (yes, made up word but it fits) farm and canning. Her parents lived on the farm next door and everyone worked the garden, the butchering, falling trees (ggrandpa's favorite chore was blowing up the tree roots with dynamite in the fall after clearing more farm land) and helping with whatever was needed. As fewer people lived off the land or sold the land more kids left home for work. With times like they are again we might find more families moving in with each other. My parents didn't move in but they did move about 4 miles away. We are putting up enough food to get both homes through the next year, but not just because of the times. It was something my mom and I have been talking about for a couple years. Doing things a little 'old school'. (but keeping all the modern conveniences). I like to say 'I'm not lazy, just busy' :D And now getting busier.
Do you know what's harder than raising your children to adulthood? Having them multiply and move back home. C'est la vieRIP Buddy

quick jot

Things are pretty busy here, but a cute mental picture...10 half grown chicks and a bowl of spaghetti with red sauce. Pics and up-dates later :D

Interesting article by Gregory Rodriguez for the Los Angeles Times...(excerpt)
The traditional American value of self-reliance was born on the frontier, where nothing was given and people had to find creative ways to survive. But fortunately and unfortunately, progress and modernization have distanced us from the edgy resourcefulness that is at the heart of our national vitality. I'm not against the well-intended ordinances and statues that regulate our environment and our lives. But in pressing times, they appear more pretentious than progressive.
I saw this and thought haHA! That's what I'm talking about! You can not have Americans being fed their basic needs like a senior citizen with advanced Alzheimer's and then expect our country to be as great as it is. We are survivors. We are pioneers. We ARE the American dream! Socialism. ick. bad bad word. When you have a government that wants to regulate (and run) all banking and finance, all medical, over-see the state governments by increasing welfare and lowering self-sufficiency and be in charge of the census, you have a government that leans towards communism. The government is corrupt simply by being. The personality that tends to run for office is by nature a spotlight seeker. Pretty soon the lies they told themselves when they ran for office becomes as false as the votes they sell to stay in office. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Fact. I've seen it in action. Nicest people in the world until they are in charge of something, whether it's a promoted supervisor or a softball coach. We are looking at some scary choices being made for us by elites who no longer live in the real world.


not for the faint of heart

I said I wasn't going to get dressed today. I lied. I read something in a blog that got me up and running to the store. I have voles. I have acres of pastures and trees all around me and if you have them you know it. Moles cause hills and ruin the yard. They eat bugs and larvae. For years I fought moles with everything on the market and finally found something that worked. I hired 'The mole ladies'. They killed 6 moles in 2 weeks at 35.00 a piece and I did a happy dance for every single one. If you've ever had a mole problem you know what I'm talking about :) Shrews look like mice but they have pointy noses and run around. Never really been a problem except for when their dead bodies litter the back porch. Cats won't eat them for some reason, just kill them. Mice are pains but cats love em. Mine love em a couple times a day! I know this because they leave the guts on my front steps (ick) plus mice eat decon. Voles leave holes all over in your yard. Voles have tunnels that tear your yard up, and leave booby traps for unsuspecting walkers. Voles eat the roots of all your plants and you don't know it until it falls over dead. Voles DO NOT eat decon. I have holes so bad out in the fields that my dog sprained his foot, and I regularly trip. My yard is all lumpy from those damn things. I don't have 5 or 10 holes in my yard, I have 5 or 10 every 10 square feet. I can't use decon because dogs think it's candy and it will kill them. So, I read in a blog that if you mix equal parts of corn meal and plaster of paris voles will eat it and it will harden in their stomach and they will die. I want to do the vole happy dance. I reeeally do. So off to micheals craft shop I flew in my pj top and jeans. I used an old butter tub to hold the mix. I used the new press and seal cling wrap to make little water-proof packets of my mix. I just put spoonfuls on the bottom sheet, added a top sheet, pressed and trimmed. Just in case it had no odor I put a little smear of peanut butter on the center of each 'pocket'. I dropped one down a dozen holes and covered them with a little dirt. I didn't put any in the dogs yard, just the fence beside it. Not to worried about the cats because 1, they don't eat the guts and 2, once the plaster of paris gets wet in the stomach it hardens to a rock and cats won't eat rocks. For those of you offended about killing gods creatures, you obviously never had the pleasure of seeing a destructive rodent dead and dancing gleefully around like an idiot knowing that there will be one less breeder running around. I'm going to be checking tomorrow and I hope all I see is little shreds of cling wrap.

sundaze

I love Sundays. Don't have to get dressed again to day :) My housework is done and since I do housework for 10 that is amazing. I felt so great I even cooked brunch and cleaned all the dishes after. Part of it is I doubled up my antibiotics. I've had it with being sick!
For brunch I made fried potatoes and eggs, toast, and bacon. While I cook I usually add up what the meal ran me. I average about 2.00 for breakfast (cold cereal), 4.00 for lunch (soup or sandwiches and fruit), and 20.00 for dinner depending on how many we have. Usually it's about 10 people. Last night I made stew for dinner.
2.00 for the milk
6.00 for lg pack of stew meat.
.66 for corn
.33 c for green beans
1.50 carrots
2.00 for potatoes
2.50 for 2 french breads
1.00 for salad
2.25 for seasonings
1.00 for dressing
total 19.25 for dinner for 12 and lunch the next day for the guys. Not too bad because I bulk shop (when it's something I use and it's on sale I buy A LOT), but if I had put up my own vegies and had some of the elk meat cubed, made the bread in my bread machine, it would have ran me less than 4 dollars. That's what I was thinking while I cooked brunch. If I had my potatoes, and my eggs it would have been better for you and cost much less. I really looked hard at the bacon. I have my garden. I have my orchard. I have my chickies. What about a pig? Are they hard? We have 3 acres with the house in the middle. I have the chickies in the back with the dogs, the garden is 1/2 acre out front. I could easily put a pig pen out back. The dogs don't need the whole acre plus some, but...maybe just overdoing a bit? I have SO MANY options. Maybe wait until next year, see how the chickies and garden do. So, I am off to play with my genealogy for the afternoon. I am currently in the 1500's. I have it traced back much farther but then you have to document all the gaps to make it official. Reading the town meeting minutes are amusing. They were a small minded bitchy group of people. Guess not much has changed. :) Yea, for Sundays :D

ha.ha.ha.

These jokes were printed in my local paper.......


How many black men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, black men will screw anything.

What's black and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What did a black guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!

What do you call a mob of black people in Detroit burning down the city?
A hockey victory.

What do you call a bunch of black guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA

What do you call a black man in court?
The lawyer.

How do you stop five black guys from raping a black woman?
Throw them a golf ball.

How did the black boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack?
He walked in and payed for it.

Did you find these jokes racist? Did you find them offensive? Would it matter to you that I changed all the 'blacks' from 'whites'? Are the jokes below considered to be in better taste now? Would it matter what color I am and would it matter if I used the opposite color for the jokes?
Please continue to read...


How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!

What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city?
A hockey victory.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA

What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.

How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman?
Throw them a golf ball.

How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack?
He walked in and payed for it.

This is the REAL list of jokes printed on-line at my local paper. What do you think?
Racist or not?

I am a 'Senior Research Associate' :)

Sent to me from a friend

JUST A MOM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's
office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is, " explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a ...?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.
"I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant
words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black
ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters,
(first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits
(all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the
humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day,
(24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill
careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice
as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new
career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers, "Senior Research Associates in
the field of Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers, "Executive Senior Research Associates?"
I think so!!!

May your troubles be less, Your blessing be more,
And nothing but happiness come through your door!

sick :(

I swear I have been sick for a month straight. I had a head cold for a week, then the flu for a week, then some sort of stomach bug that only lasted 4 days but I was weak for a week, now I have a chest cold, sore throat and a cough that makes my head hurt. EVERY SINGLE BUG CAME FROM A GRAND CHILD! I am seriously considering banning them from my life until they graduate, or at least have a dr's note stating wellness. I am SO whiny and sick I can't stand myself. While I am sick... Grumpy is sick, he makes it to work then comes home to be waited on while he's on MY laptop, my 4 fosters all have daily appointments and sports, my grand daughter needs to be driven to and from preschool, Ds and girlfriend are looking for work (I have some! I have some!) and my youngest Dd3 and her little BugBug are all over the house. I know this because as I walk through the house I can tell everything she has eaten or done. AHH!! And this is on top of all the normal cooking and cleaning. Grumpy asks why I need to put the chickies to bed every night. I just smile and say I'll be back in about an hour. :)

Where's my empty nest? Where's my golden years? WHERE'S MY 'ME' TIME?

vacation? really? when?


I had 4 days in an awesome beach house we rented on the beach in Pacific City. The guys wanted to stay there because of the sand dunes since we all have quads. Unfortunately it stormed the entire time after the first day. So, me and Grumpy, 4 kids, 4 gkids and 2 spouses. WAY too many people in a house out in the boonies in the pouring cold rain. I had planned on relaxing and having a great time with the gkids. Instead it seemed that I was in the kitchen all day, and slept with at least 2 gkids each night. The 4 year old isn't too bad, but the 9 month old still gets up every couple hours. No wonder Dd1 offered us the master w/crib:) My younger 2 found their own fun in the rain, but the gkids only got to hit the beach the first day :/ A lot of laughter, a lot of grumpy, but we all agreed we'd do it again. Next time though, we get the single level. I fell down the stupid steps and have various colors of red and purple and black in places I can't see without a mirror (owie) and I am way too old to get up so often at night. Babies are for the young, not young at heart. The animals survived their extended time alone (thank god) and didn't seem to have suffered, but Trouble was a little distant. A couple days of treats and she'll remember me (or fake it for the yummys).

offspring

You can have 12 kids from the same mom and dad and still have 12 distinct personalities. I had 4, 3 daughters and 1 son. My daughters are as different as the weather.

Dd1 decided at 18 she was getting up there, met a christian boy who had all the same goals in life as she had, fell in love, married, bought the first of 3 homes and started a family. After her first child, she was diagnosed with fertility problems (pcos), researched and found a solution, while being a fosterparent to 4 troubled preteen girls, going to college full time for business admin. and promptly had her 2 sons, one after the other. Needless to say, total type A personality. She is a bit abrupt but full of love for family. She has as high expectations for others as she does for herself and doesn't understand why everyone isn't working 2 jobs.

Dd2 had to go the hard path. At a young age she felt she didn't fit in the 'group'. If there was a rule, she had to break it... a lesson to learn, she did it the hard way. Every time always a battle and then she would disappear again. She liked living off the grid and I couldn't. She met her husband at 16 and they grew up together, off the grid. At 21 she walked into an urgent care with a chest cold and that was the end of her life off the grid. She fought it for a year, total denial, missed appointments, flaked on her meds, again compulsed to break every rule. End Stage Cardiomyopathy won that battle. She's still alive 18 months after docs told us to plan her funeral. She's still a fighter, and she's living life to the fullest 'on' the grid.

Dd3 was the baby, the one who wasn't raised in a group setting. We had more money than time and it showed. She was spoiled. She didn't do chores because there wasn't a mess with just one. She never learned to share because she was the last and we knew it. She was a beautiful bubble floating in the sunny sky. She met her husband at 13. After 4 years of off again on again, they started on again in a big way. I caught him sneaking out her window and put my foot down. They marry or break up. I was done. It was a courthouse wedding, but not quite a shotgun wedding. Her father and I had to sign because she was 17 and he 18. They started college together, got a place, everyone was happy. Tragically, he died 2 weeks after the wedding in a car accident. Now she's a battered bubble.

This is a backdrop to a story, but I'm taking a break from them for a bit.

sundaze

So, still no smoking but I am an addict. I don't want a cigarette but I do want the drug inside. A LITTLE more moody than usual :) but have yet to kill so it really doesn't count (much). My kids start the buttons going and then oh so innocently Grumpy walks by and says something smart and WHAM! OFF WITH HIS HEAD! Not so nice, I know, I'm working on it. He spent all day working on the coop in the freezing rain. I'm not sure why, so he doesn't get the points he could be earning. The outside is finished, we just need to lay the linoleum and install the milk boxes, perches and metal screen. I wanted linoleum for easier cleanup time, the same reason we went with plastic milk crates instead of built in boxes. I understand you need to bleach water everything inside once or twice a year so I went user friendly. A roll of linoleum at Lowes...20.00, 4 milk boxes...free (had used canning jars in them), the 8 x 6 shed Grumpy needed from Lowes... 650.00 (that one shot my budget to hell) Tomorrow we start with their yard. That one we'll have to be creative with because we put the coop next to and under the apple tree. Good thing they love apples! My seeds are doing well, but are not going into the green house yet. Temps are in the low 20's at night this week. The green house is warm enough, I just want them a little hardier first (like the chickies). I'm excited for spring, but do I really want to do all that weeding? I haven't accomplished much work on my hobbies this week. After I got sick the rest of the group fell like dominoes. Now that I feel better we spend our time getting ready for our trip. I asked Grumpy to take the quad in and have it looked at. It runs when it wants to and I want to use it this weekend at the sand dunes. He said no. OK. I talked to my Dd1's husband and he picked it up for me and took it in. So much easier :) So for 125.00 we'll have the dirtbike and the quad for fun. I have said for years that Grumpy would sleep in a broken bed rather than change to a new one. Lucky for him I do the shopping :D Menu planning for me and Grumpy, 4 kids, 2 spouses, 4 grandkids. I checked on-line for fun this weekend and there is NOTHING. All these personalities in one house. Scary stuff :) While the guys spend their time at the dunes and the babies are sleeping I want to take the girls and do something called trashed pics. They'll wear their wedding and/or formal outfit and we'll take pics on the dunes, on the beach, in the water, in a ditch, wherever. The dress is no longer wearable when you're done but the pics are great! Something different to do. Another thing that needs to be done is a system that takes care of the animals while we are gone. 2 dogs, Buddy and Lexie..2 cats Tabitha and Sassy..2 goldfish, Nemo and Nemo..8 chickens, 1 rooster, and Trouble plus my garden. We'll leave on Thurs, Fri, Sat, and back on Sunday. The chickies go through 32 ounces of water a day, the cats will need the food and water server, but they eat mice and voles all day. The dogs will need a food server, the goldfish have already survived without longer (oops). The only one to worry about are the chickies. I'll have to practice this week. Snow on the ground this morning so I'm not going anywhere :/ Kitties are SO not happy with the snow. You wouldn't know it to look at them, but they are very pissy kittys anyway :)

Moving day?

I'm not sure if the chickie digs are going to be finished to day :( We'll see. The darlings REALLY want to go run around and I would like to have my home back. Snow and/or rain in the forecast so, vegies stay in the house, chickies still in the house, and I'm not going outside...it's cold! Still haven't smoked and it's over 60 hours. According to science, my blood pressure is normal and I have no nicotine in my body. I have occasional nicotine fits that last for about 30-60 seconds. A couple deep breathes and a child sacrifice takes care of that (kidding). I hope I hope I hope. I hope that this is all there is to quiting. I hope I don't smoke again. I hope I don't gain 40 pounds. You would think that after smoking a pack a day for 32 years I would be homicidal or something. Already I have more time in my day. Already I can run up and down the stairs easier. Already I can smell better. Already I dislike the taste of chocolate (that sucks). Already my teeth are whiter. Already I have completely erased trace of my smoking spot outside. Already I just plain FEEL BETTER! My only concern is that The kids, Grumpy, and I rented a large house by the sand dunes for a 3 day weekend, next weekend. 2 of the kids smoke. I'm around smokers all day as I run around, but I don't live with a smoker. Will I be overcome with addiction and attack someone for their cigarette? Seriously, is this it? You just don't pick one up anymore? Why the hell didn't I quit 20 years ago?!?!

enough?

Today, for the first time in the news I heard the 'D' word. DEPRESSION. Terrible word. Every time I don't want to deal with the garden, or second guess my chickies I remind myself of what my end goal is. Self sufficiency. My mother, grandmother, her mother and HER mother all lived it and I have my gg grandmothers' diaries from the late 20's through the 60's for what it looks like in real life. Lots of insight to times past, but the most interesting thing to me was growing what you ate and bartering. If you couldn't grow it, you traded for it. So, back to the news today. It said that a depression usually lasted for 5 years and we would be almost 1 year into it. That means times will get VERY rough compared to how bad we think things are today. What you have now is what you might end up with..if you're lucky. Many will lose most if not all. Many of those will want what you have...without the work. So, I will continue to plant heirloom seeds. I will continue to clean poop (ick) of my procreating clucking little proteins and know that my family will not go without as long as I own my home :D I will take care of mine. I will protect mine. Self sufficiency. Is that going to be enough? Can you prepare enough?

(btw, still sick, sick and tired of being sick and tired!)

Friday the 13th

Not much done today, too much prep work to have the whole weekend to do as I please :) One exciting positive today though. On craigslist (of course!) there was an ad for canning jars for 4 dollars a case in Vancouver and they were older jars, not the thinner newer jars that don't last 2 seasons. In my area I'm already seeing posts on craiglist from people looking for canning jars. Since I had to drive to Vancouver anyway so I bought 7 cases... 4 of quarts, and 3 of pints of the wide mouth jars. LET THE CANNING BEGIN!! So TOMORROW I have to get those seeds in the greenhouse or the jars will be a moot point. Chickies doing well and have pretty much set in their pecking order. Now it's just me me me for 3 whole days :)

too cold to day

No bottom washing today, issue resolved (yea!!) I wanted to put my tomato, jalapeno and pumpkin seeds in the peat pots but it was soo cold outside today.The wind chill hovered around freezing and now snow is in the forcast again. Grumpys birthday today. He counts down every year. The night I met him (23 years ago) he told me that he's known his whole life that he would die at 50. We put life insurance on the house but not each other yet. I know that he believes it is a fact but I see us smiling at each other over the great grandchildrens heads at holiday dinners. Since the eldest grandchild is 6 it won't be for a while. So, anyway, Feb 12 is always an odd day around here but Ds went to his work and took him out for a b-day lunch and Dd 3 came up for dinner. I wish she would have taken bugbug home with her, but I'll just drop him off at home tomorrow. The chickies just don't love him as much as he loves them. Crazy day tomorrow but it's set up for a three day weekend. That means naps, snacking, chick-flicks in bed, working on my genealogy till the wee hours in the morn, long baths :D I absolutely love the empty nest syndrome. I highly recommend it to all mothers.