tis the season

I know these are supposed to be the hottest days of the year...it's August, after all...but fall has hit with a vengeance. The only reason my garden grew at all is because we were lucky enough to have the greenhouse. The plants went in all half grown while all the other gardens around us planted 3 times. 3 times! April's seeds froze, May's rotted in the rain and so did Junes. Last year at this time I had been canning for 2 months. This year I've canned 3 things. We are expecting a high of 69 today, overcast and showers and a earlier, wetter fall. . That's not going to help the garden at all. Without sun my garden is going to rot instead of ripen. Because I'm so stressed about the economy it just adds to the weight.

August is also the time of year I get my hunny-do list going. Grumpy leaves the first of September for 2 weeks for elk hunting (bow season) and it works better for us if everything is prepped for winter before he leaves rather than after. We rely on that elk to get us thru the year in hamburger (and a couple steaks) and always have. I prefer it, tastes great, and no additives. Having 300 pounds of meat in the freezer is another security blanket for me. Of course, the freezer has it's own generator and I can 1/4 of it...just in case...because I worry too much.

August is the month that I go school shopping for 6. There's simply no way I can economize to make that one not hurt. I can't go shopping any earlier for 4 of them (my fosters) because I'm not going to do a major shopping trip for someone elses house and I never know who will make it here to start the school year. So... new shoes, backpacks and supplies, gym clothes, a few outfits to tide them until the weather changes and all the various school start-up fees. ouch.

August is the month that I check my supply storage. I always need to rearrange my bulk supplies, my canning supplies and see what I need to replenish. It sounds like I have much more than I really do :) it's also the month I buy what I might need for the rest of the year, such as toilet paper, cleaning supplies, school supplies, dollar store umbrellas and dollar store mittens. 2 years ago we were snowed in for 10 days over Christmas in an unexpected storm. Piece of cake! I was already set for winter and had everything I needed including a ham in the freezer for Christmas dinner. 3 years ago we were hit with a 2 week flood and the power was hit and miss. You never know what winter will bring in the northwest.

August is the busiest month of the year for me every year, but this year I'm struggling. I still haven't recovered from the stress and anxiety that the state put me thru last winter and spring. It physically wiped me out. We've had less sun that any summer on record and I think my age is starting to show. I personally believe that the reason children have so much energy is because they siphon it from us. Think about it. Add enough kids and you are running on empty before noon. Add too many high needs-high maintenance kids and you are exhausted before you even wake. Keep adding to your list with grown kids, elder relatives needs, house work, bills and other various crises(es) and your life sucks in short order.

That's where I feel my life is right now. I am wiped. It's been a long sucky summer with too many people needing from me. I can hold on til school starts and try to gain some energy, focus and a foothold on my list to do but it's going to be close. I love my life..don't get me wrong... I just need a period of time where I'm not quite so needed (obligated). I need to catch up. I usually have a period of time after the holidays where I'm feeling foggy. That usually lasts until spring sunshine, this year it feels like it never really went away.

Any time my kids get overwhelmed I tell them to make a list and accomplish one thing on it each day. I guess I need to take my own advice, 'cause sitting around on my butt stressing about it isn't working as well as it oughta ;) Now if everyone else will just maintain for a few weeks I might get back on track. I hope. Because something's gonna give and it can't be me.